#AtoZChallenge parenting

Parenting Perspectives – Things I’ve learned

parenting perspectives

It is Day 16 of the #AtoZChallenge and it is P for Parenting Perspectives. When I first realized I was expecting a baby, I was nervous about whether I would make a good mother. Like everyone else, I read books, explored parenting perspectives, tips and of course, received a lot of it – solicited and unsolicited.

Then, at one point, I realized that experience is a great teacher as far as parenting is concerned, just like any other role or aspect of life. And my Mother advised me to take a day at a time, think positive and simply enjoy what life brought along. That’s what I did. Most of the time. Of course I got all worked up but by and large, when I reflect, I think I have been singularly lucky to learn a lot.

Some parenting perspectives

Some of the things I’ve learned – sometimes the hard way, sometimes easily are these:

  • do more things with kids than for them
  • if you want happy, resilient kids you go first
  • raise your small family with a big family mindset
  • make the most of the opportunity years (before teens)
  • work on your relationships as they give you leverage
  • expect kids to behave well
  • catch kids being resilient and persistent
  • attend to your kids’ mental health
  • don’t be a family that’s always on the go
  • make sure kids help at home without being paid

parenting perspectives

  • build scaffolds to independence
  • reward responsibility with greater freedom
  • build self-knowledge in kids
  • move kids down the road from ‘me’ to ‘we’
  • teach your kids to do what’s right, not what’s easy
  • strengthen your family by creating a strong food culture
  • create a culture where there’s nothing so bad that ‘we’ can’t talk about it
  • parent from the same script, even if you’re not together
  • do things with your kids
  • don’t let kids drop out of the family
  • connect with other parents
  • every child needs someone in their life who says you can do this
  • make the most of teachable moments
  • avoid your first impulse when kids misbehave
  • build a strong family brand

parenting perspectives

Michael Grose’s Parenting Ideas and Information is a great resource for parenting perspectives.

#AtoZChallenge P

Today, I recommend

Privy Trifles’s blog 
Priyanka Dey’s blog

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19 Comments

  • Reply
    Damyanti
    April 18, 2013 at 9:34 am

    do more things with kids than for them– this is THE most important one, imho, and one that modern parents lose sight of most often.
    Damyanti recently posted…Princelings of the East #atozchallengeMy Profile

    • Reply
      Jodi at Heal Now
      April 18, 2013 at 8:06 pm

      This is excellent advice! One of the best I have heard!

  • Reply
    Laxmi Chundi Addanki
    April 18, 2013 at 9:36 am

    I assume you are a veteran mother:) Enjoyed reading all the tips while nodding in agreement. Nice ponder Vidya 🙂 CHeers, Laxmi

  • Reply
    Ruchira
    April 18, 2013 at 10:39 am

    My parents followed all these maxims .. They taught more by example than words and so the lessons have stayed with us through our lives.
    Ruchira recently posted…P is for Pangong Lake !My Profile

  • Reply
    roshniaamom
    April 18, 2013 at 11:11 am

    I would of course agree with your parenting principles, after reading your posts on Parentous, Vidya! You have a wonderful outlook!
    roshniaamom recently posted…Blogging from A to Z April Challenge: P says ….My Profile

  • Reply
    Suzy
    April 18, 2013 at 11:50 am

    Mother Teresa’s quote is my mantra for parenting “I would rather make mistakes in kindness and compassion than work miracles in unkindness and hardness”
    Nice post Vidya.
    Suzy recently posted…UBC 18 – AtoZ – Pohutu GeyserMy Profile

  • Reply
    Bhavya
    April 18, 2013 at 12:27 pm

    Wow! Will remember to apply every single one of these the day I have kids 😉 🙂

    Bhavya
    Just Another Blog
    Bhavya recently posted…Phone NumberMy Profile

  • Reply
    Kajal Kapur
    April 18, 2013 at 1:33 pm

    A very insightful post. Even though children teach us so much as they grow, along the way we also get a whole lot of opportunities to be the best we can be. We must identify them and leverage


  • Reply
    afshan
    April 18, 2013 at 2:16 pm

    good one 🙂
    When u say some thing after experience it feels like believing
    afshan recently posted…“P” for “Pictivism”My Profile

  • Reply
    Preetilata
    April 18, 2013 at 4:44 pm

    This is such an incredible post Vidya. I am going to refer to it in my future for sure.

    Hugs.
    Preetilata recently posted…Poesy or something like that.My Profile

  • Reply
    Shilpa Garg
    April 18, 2013 at 6:22 pm

    Fab tips… learnt a thing or two 🙂
    Shilpa Garg recently posted…P is for… Poetry and IMy Profile

  • Reply
    janu
    April 18, 2013 at 6:45 pm

    Great tips.

  • Reply
    Nathalie
    April 18, 2013 at 8:11 pm

    Things I need to remember more… thank you for this lovely post, Vidya. 🙂
    Nathalie recently posted…Perfectionism: Learning to Let it GoMy Profile

  • Reply
    Debbie
    April 18, 2013 at 8:43 pm

    You have cover about everything when it comes to parenting Vidya. My favorite is ‘do more things with kids than for them’

    As parents it is very important to remember we are there first teachers.
    Thanks Vidya
    Debbie recently posted…How To Ask For Help (Even If It Scares The Crap Out Of You!)My Profile

  • Reply
    Diana Pinto
    April 18, 2013 at 8:54 pm

    very useful tips on parenting Vidya.

  • Reply
    sridevi
    April 18, 2013 at 10:49 pm

    Such wonderful lessons and perspectives …loved the first perspective to bits . Today my nine year old rolled out chapathis and I absolutely loved the sparkle in his eyes when I told him I couldn’t have done it better 🙂
    sridevi recently posted…P is for Prayers and ParentingMy Profile

  • Reply
    Aparna
    April 19, 2013 at 9:02 am

    I also believe that “Lead by example”

  • Reply
    Relationship Building - Vidya Sury
    June 8, 2014 at 4:18 pm

    […] Parenting perspectives – Things I’ve Learned […]

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    #AtoZChallenge 2013 Reflections - Vidya Sury
    June 8, 2014 at 4:26 pm

    […] P for Parenting perspectives – Things I’ve Learned […]

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