#AtoZChallenge relationships

Relationship Building

Inspiration Dolls

I am excited to think that Day 18 of the #AtoZChallenge is here and am loving the relationship building with others – but at the same time, I am also a wee bit sad that April 30 is racing towards us. Somehow April seems shorter than it usually is – thanks to blogging every day.

First, I thought that being a Saturday, it should be Rest and Relaxation – but decided to focus on relationship building instead – because is that not what blogging is all about? Community, friendship  and relationship building. So here we go with my take on…

Relationship Building

They could be 20 or 80 years old.

They could be of any color, size, shape or status.

It is irrelevant how long they have been together.

Regardless of age, duration of time and ethnicity, it is easy to recognize a happy and healthy relationship.

So life is not perfect. You know it and I know it. In spite of this, there are couples, friends and families who manage to stay committed to each other, love each other.

What is the secret?

You don’t have to be lucky to enjoy your relationship. No – luck has nothing to do with it. It takes a lot of persistence, hard work and commitment. Some lessons I’ve learned and would like to share are:

Be realistic

A wonderful gift may not be wrapped as you expect. ~ Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Pink spectacles are fine, but if you want to nurture a long term relationship, they must be realism tinted spectacles.  In the course of relationship building, peaks, plateaus and troughs are the norm. There will be roses. But there will also be thorns. When we recognize this, it is easier to enjoy the rose petals.

Put in the effort

There are no shortcuts to any place worth going ~ Beverly Sills

Relationship building takes work. Sometimes one of you seems to be making all the effort. Don’t keep score.  If there are misunderstandings or problems, thrash them out. Don’t assume that things will magically be okay. Just like anything you want to succeed with, relationships must be nurtured and cared for, regularly. You know what they say: no pain, no gain.

Make time for each other

One of the greatest gifts you can give someone is the gift of attention ~ Jim Rohn

Spend time together. A shared activity is a great idea. Sitting quietly watching TV doesn’t really count, unless it is one of those fun things that the family does together, laughing together. Go for walks. Go out for a meal. Play together.

Give each other space

Don’t smother each other. No one can grow in the shade. ~Leo Buscaglia

It is great to spend time together, but it is just as important to have space. The good old me – time. It is healthy to have your own interests so you return to the relationship refreshed. Lots more to talk about. You miss the people you are usually with and always cherish the value they bring to your life.

Accept and enjoy your differences

Soul-mates bring out the best in you. They are not perfect but are always perfect for you. ~Author Unknown

Enjoy your differences. Just think about what drew you to the person in the first place. Okay, so we cannot choose our families, but when it comes to friendships and partners, the things that you loved initially are the things that make you maddest later. But hang on, stop to think about the things you loved. If there are differences, see the brighter side.  Appreciate it.

Stop trying to change each other

Before you try to change others, remember how hard it is to change yourself ~ Bill Bluestein

Many people praise someone for the way they are, and then, when they get closer, expect them to change. If the relationship is worth it, why not make the extra effort?  So get bugged once in a while, but don’t make it a habit. Of course, with partners this can be a wee bit tough. But cutting each other some slack seriously helps. I’d get mad about many things before, but once Sury and I planned division of labor about various things around the house we suddenly had very little to complain about. Happiness walked in.

Realize that some problems have no solutions

Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves. ~ Carl Jung

Some problems are best left alone. If there are issues you disagree about, don’t waste energy arguing. Choose to agree to disagree and compromise. Your relationship can get healthier when you tackle these things amicably.

Communicate

People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges ~ Joseph F. Newton Men

Communication is critical to relationship building. Listen. Empathize even if you don’t agree. No need to be defensive. Share thoughts and feelings.

Embrace honesty

If you tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything ~Mark Twain

Trust and honesty form the foundation for any relationship. Better to lay it all on the table than live with doubts.

Respect each other

When men and women are able to respect and accept their differences then love has a chance to blossom ~ John Gray

And that holds good for any relationship. Don’t take anyone for granted. Say your I love you’s every day. Don’t wait. I do that all the time. Who knows what might happen tomorrow!

After all, we only have one life. Why not live it in peace and harmony?

Here’s an all-time favorite of mine:

Present your family and friends with their eulogies now – they won’t be able to hear how much you love them and appreciate them from the grave. ~Anonymous

Isn’t that true?

a-to-z-letters-r

Today, I recommend

Preetilata Sarkar’s blog 

Kajal Kapur’s blog

*****

Here is a round up of the week’s posts from M through R

Mother of Mine

Nature Naturally

Oral Health and Stress

Parenting perspectives – Things I’ve Learned

Quotes that Inspire

Relationship Building

*******

Have a lovely weekend!

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21 Comments

  • Reply
    janu
    April 20, 2013 at 10:14 am

    Great quotes and tips Vidya. It is easy to break up to keep something going especially relationships…it takes effort.

  • Reply
    Corinne Rodrigues
    April 20, 2013 at 10:44 am

    For me the ‘r’ in relationships spells, respect. And it is the first letter of the word, funnily enough. 🙂
    I love of all of Leo Buscalgia’s words!

    • Reply
      Joy V. Smith
      April 20, 2013 at 11:23 am

      Corinne, respect is also something we need to cultivate. Thanks for sharing.
      Joy V. Smith recently posted…R is for reporterMy Profile

  • Reply
    Joy V. Smith
    April 20, 2013 at 11:21 am

    Great–and important–choice and some excellent quotes. Thank you!
    Joy V. Smith recently posted…R is for reporterMy Profile

  • Reply
    sridevi
    April 20, 2013 at 1:54 pm

    Great quotes and a lovely tips on relationships Vidya 🙂
    sridevi recently posted…The Song of the RainbowMy Profile

  • Reply
    Shilpa Garg
    April 20, 2013 at 1:54 pm

    Wonderful tips and great quotes, Vidya. For me it is important to jave respect for each other and revive the relationship from time to time… ie not taking each other for granted, trying out different things…
    Shilpa Garg recently posted…R is for… RiddleMy Profile

  • Reply
    Meena Menon
    April 20, 2013 at 3:04 pm

    Acpting the differences n giving the space are the most imp lessns!

  • Reply
    Bhavya
    April 20, 2013 at 3:04 pm

    Great tips and greater quotes. 🙂
    Bhavya recently posted…RisksMy Profile

  • Reply
    Suzy
    April 20, 2013 at 4:05 pm

    Great tips and nice quotes.
    Suzy recently posted…UBC 20 – AtoZ – RhemaMy Profile

  • Reply
    G Angela
    April 20, 2013 at 4:19 pm

    Great quotes and lovely tips ! well presented !

  • Reply
    Pheno Menon
    April 20, 2013 at 5:52 pm

    Its so easy to break and herculean task to build

    PhenoMenon

  • Reply
    Afshan
    April 20, 2013 at 9:53 pm

    These r the tips which I highly need I guess
    I think I will read this post when ever I feel like thanks Vidya 🙂

  • Reply
    Kajal Kapur
    April 20, 2013 at 10:05 pm

    I am completely pro all the points mentioned for an enriched relationship….Its a way too much going into one than most people think.

    Thanks so much for recommending my blog here *lotsa hugs*
    Kajal Kapur recently posted…Relationship discourseMy Profile

  • Reply
    Galen Pearl
    April 20, 2013 at 10:19 pm

    So true–all of those points! My next door neighbors are an elderly couple. I often see them holding hands as they are walking. They clearly enjoy each other’s company.

    I loved the last quote. I was at a memorial service recently and a woman I know wrote such a lovely eulogy. Afterwards, I told her that I wanted her to write mine, but to write it while I was still alive to hear it!!
    Galen Pearl recently posted…Tapping of the HeartMy Profile

  • Reply
    Pattu
    April 20, 2013 at 11:19 pm

    A nice topic and tips. Very tricky indeed. This takes a life time to master sometimes. 🙂
    Pattu recently posted…Urban Farming encouraged by A.P. GovernmentMy Profile

  • Reply
    sharmila
    April 20, 2013 at 11:41 pm

    Friendship,respect and communication are the three most important aspects of any relationship.Great quotes,and useful tips here Vidya.
    sharmila recently posted…R– Raita RecipeMy Profile

  • Reply
    Sulekha
    April 21, 2013 at 12:15 am

    The first rule of relationship building is ‘No ego’.Respecting each other is a must too. Loved your post.

  • Reply
    Connie Gruning
    April 21, 2013 at 3:47 am

    This post is beautifully written! I love the quotes.
    Thank you for a great R post!
    Connie
    A to Z-ing to the end
    Peanut Butter and Whine
    Connie Gruning recently posted…A to Z April Challenge Letter RMy Profile

  • Reply
    Laxmi Chundi Addanki
    April 21, 2013 at 3:57 am

    I enjoy all your little lessons of life. The present day generation needs to inculcate a lot of these tips. Thank you for your wisdom Vidya 🙂

  • Reply
    My Inner Chick
    April 22, 2013 at 7:36 am

    **Accept and enjoy your differences**

    Yes!

    Love you more than tigers in snow. X
    My Inner Chick recently posted…Big Hats, Buck House, & Beautiful HarryMy Profile

  • Reply
    Unconditional by @shyvish - Vidya Sury
    April 24, 2014 at 12:15 am

    […] love can extend to our relationships and our actions. Some people seem to have this in natural abundance. Others learn, through life […]

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