Summer vacations during my school days always meant traveling to meet relatives, or having house guests, and invariably attending a wedding or two. It meant happy times with cousins, aunts and uncles and generally having a good time, then coming back home and talking about it for the next few weeks.
I remember how exciting it was to watch the folks at home, discussing ticket bookings, shopping for “grand” clothes for the wedding, and fulfilling wish lists for those we were visiting or receiving. And all the while trying to juggle that budget.
In the bride or groom’s family, a different kind of excitement would be in the air.
Fantasizing, planning, dreaming, and of course splurging well past the budget. While the parents tried to achieve the Holy Grail of finding the balance between their purses vs. making everyone happy, the bride and groom to be would have taken up residence on their respective Cloud 9s, enveloped by the joy of getting married to their soulmates, or the ideal partner chosen for them by their folks.
Oh yes, the more they got to know each other and realized that it was the start of a wonderful relationship, wish lists would grow, dreams would look achievable, and just about anything would seem possible.
If the parents were aware of their secret fantasies, they would try their best-est to make them happen, so what if they had to jump through hoops to meet the costs. After all, for most people wedding is a once in a lifetime joyous event, and it makes sense to make it memorable by having the sort of event one always dreamed of.
In the midst of all this, as I grew up, I wondered if I’d have any special wishes on my wedding day.
When I did decide to get married, the first thing my husband-to-be said was “NO showy wedding. No inviting the whole world. Let’s just have a quiet ceremony at the registrar’s office with just a couple of witnesses from the family, then maybe have a small get-together for our closest friends.”
Of course, this stymied my Mom, who had been saving up for a decent 2-day wedding that involved inviting family and friends in a wedding hall. Sury would have none of it, least of all the long ceremony that is a big part of the wedding. He said, why not donate the money we wanted to spend to charity. I love that man!
Anyway, what with one thing and another, we finally zero-ed down to an Arya Samaj wedding, involving a super-short ceremony, where one is allowed six guests. My uncles and aunts insisted on a wedding reception. After all, am I not their favorite niece?
Well, here’s what finally happened.
- We booked a wedding hall in the last minute because our guest list grew and grew.
- We brought the Arya Samaj priest to the hall for the 40 minute ceremony, tremendously enjoyed by the 300-odd people present.
- My Mom had sensibly arranged catering for 350 people, but in the end, almost 700 showed up—and we woke up to the true definition of “family and friends”. Luckily, our caterer had another wedding two days later, so provisions were not an issue.
- I did not go shopping for my wedding in the traditional sense. I bought one saree to get married in, because I fancied wearing a 9-yard version, shocking surprising everyone.
- We had our caterer cook extra food and donated it to the welfare homes around our area.
- We made donations to various charities, and continue to do so, as gratitude for the life we are blessed with.
In a sense, I was fortunate that we had enough savings to manage the type of wedding we had and fulfill our special wedding wish—basically because both of us had been working for over a decade.
But the situation was very different for my cousin and namesake, who was getting married two days later. Her parents were arranging her wedding with all the traditional trappings, trousseau, and special honeymoon–the works. And I know they had to take a loan to make all her fantasies come true. I also know they were super-cheerful about it, because who doesn’t want their child to be happy on her special day?
If both bride and groom are employed, this becomes a little easier on the parents. My friend, who was marrying her sweetheart, had a good job when she got married, and her partner and she did the smart thing by sharing and discussing their dreams and special wishes. Together, they saved, budgeted, and made sure their dreams came true. I know they took a loan to go away together on an exotic honeymoon and came back deliriously happy. Sometimes I think it set the tone for the wonderful life they have together, now blessed with a child.
I know for some, it might seem crazy to begin life together with a loan. But if you have a wedding wish, the sooner you make it happen, the better, because when you are young, it is easier to manage those finances than live with that niggling regret all your life.
You are probably wondering: why is fulfilling your special wish at your wedding important?
You can also probably answer that question. For one thing, a wedding is one of the most important life events in the bride’s or groom’s life. Why not make it memorable? In fact, it is a brand new birthday of sorts where two people pledge to honor and cherish each other for the rest of their lives. Why not celebrate this momentous decision?
If it means taking a wedding loan, I say it is worth it. Fulfill that one wedding wish which could be anything from a destination reception, exotic honeymoon, that special piece of jewelry, that fabulous outfit, a candid photoshoot to treasure all your life… anything! Why not make your most special day even more exceptional by making your dreams come true?
Don’t worry about living with the disappointment of not doing it because you were strapped for cash. Unfulfilled wishes can be a bigger burden.
“For of all sad words of tongue or pen, The saddest are these: ‘It might have been!'”
And nobody wants to live with regret the rest of their lives.
Visit Tata Capital Wedding Loan Website to apply and fill in relevant details, along with the wedding wish. After a careful analysis of your profile, Tata Capital will process your loan.
Did you have #OneWeddingWish when you got married?
I’d love to know what it was in the comments!