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- Always make it a point to communicate. Don’t expect telepathy. That comes later. And when you least expect it. If you have a situation, talk about it. Get it out of your system.
- Never go to bed without saying I love you. Even if your partner does not. Probably didn’t occur to them. It is okay to initiate and have them follow.
- Don’t keep score about how many times you did something vis-à-vis how many times your partner initiated it. That is a lousy thing to do.
- Never ever go to sleep angry or with resentment. Resentment is pure poison. Of your own making, usually.
- There are times when life won’t go the way you expect it to. Accept it.
- Marriage really is about “I take you, your mother, your aunts, your cousins, your uncles, your friends…..” It is okay. Share the same vows! We cannot argue that while marriage is between two people logically, it is actually between two families and all the people in the periphery. Think of it as fun. It becomes a lot easier to deal with.
- Use your intuition. This always works when you love.
- You don’t have to be a perfectionist. I know. I tried being the perfect daughter, wife, mom, caregiver all at the same time. Until I realized nobody expected it. In fact, my lovely family and friends kept telling me to relax and that it wouldn’t really be the end of the world if I left something undone.
- Respect each other’s work, personal space and each other’s interests. It is okay not to have similar interests. Now, Sury is passionate about everything he does (as am I). What we admire about each other is what we are both good at. It does not matter if we are not crazy about the same things. Over the years, we have developed a lot of common grounds for togetherness, which we enjoy tremendously.
|Ah, I like how those hands make the heart|
- Happiness takes effort, effort that is well worth it.
- Above all, let there be trust
- Be committed. Even if you have to make okra more often than you’d like to. I am.
- Develop friendship with your partner
- Remember there is no such thing as a perfect marriage. Thank God. That would be so boring.
- Don’t be shy
- It is okay if there’s burnt toast for dinner.
- Speak your mind. It is okay to fight. It is even more fun to make up afterwards.
- Be quick to praise each other
- Laugh a lot. It relieves a lot of stress (and a lot of icky situations)
- Sometimes, it is a good idea to ditch your gadgets and focus on face to face
- It is okay to date in your pajamas. It is all about the time spent together – not where, when or the clothes you wear.
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- A happy marriage takes a lot of give and take. Hmm. A lot of give. Do it.
- Make sure you enjoy every moment. Even if it is scrubbing the bathroom floor. Or clearing up after each other. It is so easy to get caught up in life’s various crazies.
- Don’t take your partner for granted. Don’t just go assuming things on their behalf. Ugh!
- Throw away that silly argument about “You have changed” Appreciate any changes you see. After all, people grow in a relationship, and I’d think it is a blessing if they change and adjust. And by the way, the “changing” works both ways.
- Oh, it is okay to argue. Strengthens the relationship.
- Appreciate every little thing. Just because you’re crazy about each other does not mean there’s no need to say “sorry” or “thank you”
- Hug a lot. Diffuses tension instantly.
- Remember, life is always full of hope.
- When you’re upset, take a little time to stand outside yourself, take stock and calm down. Choose your words carefully if you have to speak.
- Make love, not war.
- Share your feelings.
- Love may be a bed of roses, but there are thorns to make you appreciate the roses. What is life if there are no downs to appreciate the ups?
- Always remember, you are in this together and have equal responsibility.
- Do not let fear come in the way of doing anything you care about. (Here’s a great video interview with Tess of The Bold Life on Sibyl’s blog)
- Avoid looking for black and white – enjoy the shades of grey. Grey is one of my favorite colors.
- Spend time together. Did I say that already? Okay, I am saying it again!
- Try maintaining a positive outlook
- Relish every moment
Valentine’s just around the corner, folks, and Love is in the air! So don’t forget to say your I love you’s. If you think the air you breathe is made of 78% nitrogen (N2), 21% oxygen (O2), 0.9% argon (Ar) and 0.04% carbon dioxide (CO2) and some trace elements, you’ve missed on an important ingredient. L-O-V-E. Yes.