A Polish man married a Canadian girl after he had been in Canada a year or so and, although his English was far from perfect, they got on very well.

Until one day he rushed into a lawyer’s office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him, “very quick.”

The lawyer said that the speed of getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances and asked him the following questions: >

LAWYER: Have you any grounds? POLE: JA, JA, an acre and half and a nice little home with 3 bedrooms. >

LAWYER No, I mean what is the foundation of this case? POLE: It is made of concrete, brick and mortar.

> LAWYER: Does either of you have a real grudge? POLE: No, we have a two-car carport and have never really needed >one. >

LAWYER: I mean, what are your relations like? POLE: All my relations are in Poland. >

LAWYER: Is there any infidelity in your marriage? POLE: Yes, we have hi fidelity stereo set & DVD player with 6.1 sound. We don’t necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes. >

LAWYER: No, I mean does your wife beat you up? POLE: NO, I’m always up before her.

> LAWYER: WHY do you want this divorce? POLE: She going to kill me. >

LAWYER: What makes you think that? POLE: I got proof. >

LAWYER: What kind of proof?

POLE: She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at the drug store and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read — it says, “Polish Remover”