This is something that I think of from time to time – anticipation is always so much more of an adrenalin rush than actually reaching the goal. We aim for something, we want something badly – and the thrill of going through the tension of wondering whether what we wish for will happen – or not – is always so much stronger and more exciting than actual achievement.
This happy feeling applies to so many situations in life. We look forward to meeting someone – and wondering how it will turn out is always more sensational than actually meeting the person. If we look forward to meeting someone after a long gap in time, we sometimes carry the same feelings of pleasure of what was – whether things are the same – or not. Sometimes, in the process, our expectations are so high that we find it a little difficult to adjust to what is the reality.
In this context, I’ve recently had two interesting experiences. Long ago – seems like a different life – I had a ‘best’ friend. We lost touch about 20 years ago. While we were friends for about three years or so, we were pretty inseparable and had such fabulous mental sync – it was magical. Then – we simply did not keep in touch when we moved out of the town we lived in – she got married, and I got transferred in my job. But the memories of what fab times we had were always fresh and I have to say – I would feel totally exhilarated when I thought about those times spent together.
Well, recently I did my customary google search to see if she’d show up and she did. I wrote to her, she replied. But you know what? Life has changed, and so have we, whether we admit it or not. We talked on the phone and I was really surprised to have that sense of ‘we’ve moved on’ – you know – kind of different worlds now. Sure we talked of meeting up – but I really don’t know whether that would happen. One might think that in this day of advanced communication technology we would be in each other’s hair, texting, talking, emailing – all that stuff. But nix. Nada. Nothing. Funny, isn’t it?
So this led me to think of another friend I’ve known for over thirty (yes – truth) years. Very soulmate-ish type. I’ve been trying to google search this guy too and oddly – a couple of weeks ago, he did come up in one of the searches. I shot off a few emails to potential email ids…and lo! I hit gold. Two guys wrote back politely to say they were not the guy I was trying to find …. but that’s another story. Well – now – this guy and I have not been in touch for ten years. But when we talked on the phone, it was like we were just taking up a conversation we’d left off the day before. Strange, eh? Well, I am glad to say we’re back in touch and it feels terrific.
As we move through life, we become (hopefully) wiser, maturer and make friends on the way. Our outlook and priorities change – and while some friends continue to stay with us – some just drift apart. Sometimes it hurts, I must admit. The feeling of what might have been. But on the other hand, I have learned to look at what I’ve got every single day – and I ask myself – who makes me laugh? I can think of AT LEAST ten people I am close to. And can count upon.
It totally feels good. It is okay to let go, because change often rules life.