Home Reflections Texts, Lies, and Sour Grapes – because clearly I am a whine magnet

Texts, Lies, and Sour Grapes – because clearly I am a whine magnet

by Vidya Sury May 19, 2024 3 comments
Sour grapes Close Up Photo of Grape Fruit

Most texts are lies and usually about sour grapes, although the sender will never admit it. Case in point, even people who claim to be friends mostly reserve the whining for yours truly, so much that I often wonder if I am a whine magnet.

I mean, they’ll be having a good time as evidenced by their updates online, amply supported by photos to prove it. So why rant and complain when they talk to these chosen friends? I’ll never know.

And I don’t want to, thankfully.

What’s amusing is they don’t seem to realize that their online updates are public and visible to the people they whine to, especially when they contradict themselves.

For example, they’ll post about how great something is, and when they text you one-on-one, insist that what we see of them in public is not the truth.

So why the lies? Sour grapes?

I don’t know. Sigh. And I don’t want to know.

I suspect it is often sour grapes because the amount of one-upness out there is so crazy. Everyone wants to be better than everyone else.

Sour grapes fox, grapes, vine


Fear Of Missing Out. FOMO.

Comparison, that nasty little thief of joy, is always scurrying around to do its dirty work. So sad. Also, it is always about the numbers. Even the people who acted like friends hardly ever keep in touch after the initial gushing over everything you did.

Gone are the days when someone will call you just because they want to chat, without an agenda.

No texts unless they need something.

Of course, while meeting at events there’s a lot of enthusiasm that wanes off the moment they step off the venue. So charming.

Rather like the children’s McDonald’s Happy Meal toys that lose their appeal as soon as they cross the threshold at home, especially considering how tears were shed accompanied by impossible promises and begging to acquire them.

Rush, rush

I wonder, has life become so hectic that people have forgotten how to enjoy themselves? Most people are chasing their own tails with that constant FOMO. They sleep with their phones. Their thumbs are furiously busy on the screen even as they pretend to spend time with “friends”. Even couples out on a romantic evening have eyes only for their phone screen.

Oh, some pretend to put their phones aside, only to furtively sneak glances at the constant notifications. They cannot wait to post an update because the world will stop spinning on its axis if they don’t, won’t it? The world is losing sleep, waiting with bated breath to learn that two people actually met and had coffee together. So unusual, right? Also, isn’t the world eagerly waiting for all those selfies?

These are the things that make me feel rather passé. Outdated like a fossil. But let me hasten to add, pleasantly so. I do understand that the internet is a wonderful thing but is it not important to make sure that it doesn’t control us? Why allow it to manipulate our time and relationships? There is more to a connection than likes and follows and fans. Then, of course, there’s the “follow to unfollow” game which is something I will never understand. Whose loss?

Lip service

Then there are those people who keep inviting you over, without telling you where they live. I always find this amusing because I was fortunate to grow up with people coming over all the time — and I’ve never had to visit people, except a couple of very close friends. The same goes for those who keep telling you to call them, but never share their contact info. Hilarious.

That’s life, eh?

Reminds me of some sweet but uncomfortable questions my son asked me when he was around seven years old.

Why are there castes and religions?
Why are there different countries? Why can’t it be one world?
Why are some people poor?
Why are people mean to one another?
Why do some people steal?
We grow up to be adults and just learn to live with these, don’t we?

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Bren Welch May 20, 2024 at 8:13 pm

Hi Vidya! I can so relate to this! I have acquaintances, once called friends, who only contact me via text or Facebook Messenger to complain. Not a “How are you doing, Bren? How are the pups?” but, “Guess what happened to ME ME ME?!” Ugh, the world has changed so much. If you have a handle of “friends” you can depend on, I consider you a lucky person. So many are wrapped up into themselves that they can’t take a minute to even wish you “Good day”. So, thank you for bringing this to light and wish you a beautiful day!
Bren Welch recently posted…Fur-Ever Happiness: 5 Pawsome Joys Of Having A Dog

Vidya Sury May 20, 2024 at 8:35 pm

Lovely to see your comment, Bren. Sadly, everyone is slave to the screen and do not have eyes for anything or anyone else. Nice to meet you!

Debbie D. May 21, 2024 at 9:39 am

A timely observation, Vidya! It’s a disturbing sign of the times and I fear things will only get worse. True friendship is hard to come by in this post-pandemic world. People have become more insular and self-centred.
Debbie D. recently posted… AN UNVARNISHED TRIBUTE FOR MOTHER’S DAY #CreativeWriting #Memoir


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