Excerpted from a newsletter I receive regularly – and quoting Karen Casey, here is something we can all attempt to practice when life gives us lemons and we begin to muse with that vodka in hand (what else can you do with that lemon? okay – i guess teetotallers can try lemon juice):
“Making the decision to thoroughly enjoy this or any other day is pretty simple,” writes Karen Casey. “It relies on our willingness to not let the actions of others over take our minds. We are in charge of what we think, what we say, what we do. Grabbing hold of this principle will change everything.”
This means – we must embrace detachment from the lives of others. And it is through this detachment that we are able to have peaceful hearts.
Detachment frees us from overreaction.
Overreacting to the myriad situations in my life, whether bona fide major ones or extremely minor incidents, can be standard practice. Maybe you can relate. It made little difference what my spouse or a friend or a co-worker did; I was capable of taking their actions or words quite personally and then acting in ways that were seldom fitting for the situation. The idea of considering how I wanted to respond and then actually responding in a sane way had never occurred to me. For decades I had watched my family of origin react to whatever happened, and I was a great imitator.
Learning that there is another way to see, to interpret, to respond is like being given a second chance at life. We are on this path with others because of what we each have to learn. We are journeying together. Intentionally. We are not making the journey for each other or as each other. Doing for others what they need to do for themselves prevents the learning that needs to occur, both ours and theirs.
Stepping aside and watching others handle that which is theirs to handle, and not letting what they do determine how we feel, is the “real stuff” of this journey. Discovering this makes every minute pretty exciting.
Try it 🙂