Home Relationships Admit It. You Are Guilty Of This

Admit It. You Are Guilty Of This

by Vidya Sury September 18, 2014 11 comments
vidya sury taking for granted

Are you guilty of being complacent about your relationships?

Are you guilty of taking for granted someone close to you?

We’re all guilty of this.

If you deny it, I just won’t believe you!

With all that that is going on in our lives, it is all too easy to take many things for granted – our routine, opportunities that come our way, people who are always around to support us. This could be at work, could be our friends or those in our family. Considering the time we’ve invested in building that trust and connection with others, imagine damaging it just because we slacked off and didn’t do what we had to do to maintain it!

Of late, I’ve seen that happening quite a lot. The good intentions are always there, but action takes its own sweet time.

I have a very good friend. We used to phone each other frequently and met up whenever we could. These days, we’re both so busy with our lives that we don’t get around to connecting. Luckily, we’re so fond of each other that not once have we kept score over who called whom and always open our hearts when we talk.

But it has got me thinking.

Am I taking for granted the people I treasure?

taking for granted vidya sury

As we get embroiled in our lives, we often do not notice the support we constantly receive from those who mean so much to us. What about the times they need our support? Are we tuned to noticing it?

The cozy relationships we enjoy can sometimes make us so complacent that in the process of sharing ourselves with the ones close to us, we don’t realize we’re dumping on them. We take them for granted. We assume they are always ready to listen to us.

When we do this, we unknowingly stop giving them the attention they deserve. So maybe we can win them over again. But it is tough to keep relationships fun and lively, eh?

The truth is, we all evolve as people over the passage of time, and so do our relationships. Some become stronger, some drift apart. When we think that we could have sustained it, and didn’t, the regret and guilt set in.

Are we tuned to the changes that are inevitable, and are we ready to restore the attention we originally paid to the people who matter to us?

We should, considering that these are the people who’ve pledged their support to us and we certainly shouldn’t be taking them for granted.

To keep relationships healthy, it is a good thing to ask ourselves periodically whether we are taking the ones we hold close for granted.

So here is what I am doing.

Taking a relationship inventory.

  • I am picking one person in my life – someone who is very important to me.
  • I am thinking about what I like about them the most – what do I value about them?
  • I am reflecting – have you taken them for granted? Why?
  • If this person expects my support, am I aware of it?

And now, I am letting them know that they are on my priority list.

I don’t want to be guilty of taking for granted the people who give me the most. ♥

vidya sury taking for granted (1)

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obsessivemom September 19, 2014 at 12:32 pm

That’s a wonderful reminder. God knows how we all need it. We all HATE being taken for granted yet we do it to others all the time. It’s a great idea to take a relationship inventory.
obsessivemom recently posted…Super news at The Book Club!

obsessivemom September 19, 2014 at 12:38 pm

Thanks for the reminder Vidya. How we all HATE being taken for granted yet how often we do the same to people close to us. Taking a relationship inventory is such a great idea.
obsessivemom recently posted…Super news at The Book Club!

Shailaja September 19, 2014 at 12:59 pm

Very much the need of the hour. I try and keep in touch with people, but I’m not sure if I’m doing enough. Less time online may help me in this. Thanks Vidya.

Laurel Regan September 20, 2014 at 3:19 am

I have definitely been guilty of this. Thank you for the reminder.
Laurel Regan recently posted…Photo Friday: Home + 100 Happy Days – Day 7

Debbie September 20, 2014 at 7:57 am

Great reminder Vidya! Relationships require mutual attention to flourish. The only person I’ve ever felt I took for granted was my husband and vice versa. After decades together, a certain amount of complacency had set in. This was all resolved when, due to a crisis with my parents (who lived far away), I had to spend many weeks at a time away from home (a total of 8 lengthy absences in two years). This gave us a new appreciation for each other and now, after 41 years of marriage, we are happier than ever. 🙂 I’ve always been very attentive with my friends, usually more than they are. It’s just my nature to be that way.
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usha menon September 20, 2014 at 11:31 am

Your post is very enlightening. I was reminded of some very good friend,who has written to me but I have not responded.

sunila September 20, 2014 at 4:48 pm

Great post Vidya 🙂
I have never been guilty of this with anyone except one of the most important ppl in my life, my mother n I realised that as soon as I had my baby, interestingly…..

Proactive Indian September 21, 2014 at 11:58 am

Guilty. I guess we all are guilty to varying extents.

The ‘Relationship Inventory’ is a good idea!
Proactive Indian recently posted…Corruption: a twist in my life

My Inner Chick September 21, 2014 at 11:07 pm

It’s true.
We all do this.
One thing I ALWAYS remember though…
is to say “I love you,” after every conversation.
And this is the last thing that Kay told me, too.
Isn’t that lovely?
Love you more than my big white spider in my back yard. Vidya, you should see his web. It is GRAND. And he is GIGANTIC. I really hate for him to leave!
My Inner Chick recently posted…13 Reasons She Stayed

Vidya Sury September 21, 2014 at 11:11 pm

I would love to, Kim! Show me a photo! I find spider webs fascinating.

I love you more than the flowers around our building, – the ground is like a carpet of yellow and mauve flowers.

Yes, I blow kisses and say i love you all the time ❤
Vidya Sury recently posted…Celebrating World Gratitude Day

elly stornebrink September 24, 2014 at 11:07 am

Yes, I am guilty as declared, one or two relationships. I will work on it. Thanks Vidya for sharing your kick-me-in-the-butt post! 😉 <3
elly stornebrink recently posted…Tantalizing Tuesday: Tree Days


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