Inspiring stories

Fear Is The Key #RiseAboveFear

fear is the key vidya sury

Ever been stuck in a situation where you were afraid to take a decision that could change your life forever, but really had no choice?

I have. Several times. The craziest thing was, I really had no other option. It was like being stuck between a rock and a hard place in a dead end and feeling cornered.

This post was triggered by a email and it got me thinking.

I’ve been doing a lot of that lately, haven’t I? It must be December, when we start to look back and then, look forward.

Introspection takes on a new meaning with each year we live. If, 20 years ago, I were to reflect over a past incident, my reaction at that time would have been very different from what it is now.

Today, when I think back about specific life events, I often smile and even go so far as to give myself a pat on the back for the situations I’ve overcome.

Here’s one of them.

FEAR – “Face Everything And Rise”

One of the scariest moments of my life was when I quit my job before I got married. No, I wasn’t scared to quit my job – or get married – but after I handed in my resignation, I faced such a lot of opposition from my family it wasn’t funny. They thought I was being foolish. I didn’t let it get to me as I had every intention of returning back to work in a few months – in fact, the company I worked with insisted that they’d keep an opening for me, even though I was going to move to another city.

So what was the problem, you’re wondering, right?

For one thing, Life doesn’t exactly work out the way we plan it.

And that is what happened with mine.

  • I got married to a wonderful man. Moved to another city.
  • Soon after, my Mom developed health problems and we got her to live with us. Her health deteriorated rapidly and in spite of medical attention, the doctors couldn’t figure out what was wrong.
  • I became pregnant
  • Our medical bills mounted – and we had a tough time managing the expenses.
  • My son came along – babies are expensive you know!
  • A year down the line, the doctors finally diagnosed my Mom with lung fibrosis and gave her 6 months to live, at most.
    We also moved to another city as my husband changed jobs.

As we tackled our life situations, the thing that ate at me most was not going to work and bringing in the much needed money that would make life so much easier for us. I had a good position before I quit my job – and I also had the good fortune to have ex-employers who were happy to hire me back.

Yet, reality was different. There was no way I could take up a high-flying corporate job with Mom’s uncertain health and a baby at home. In my heart, my family needed me, even though my head reasoned that I could make life much better for them by taking up that job.

This was the hardest decision I had to take.

I did, finally.

fear is the key vidya sury

 

Everything you want is on the other side of fear

That’s the truth.

I declined the fabulous job offers I got, so I could be a stay-at-home Mommy and look after my Mom.

My family was a great support, assuring me that I could always return to work when things got better.

While I knew I had done what would make me most happy, I would be lying if I said I did not fantasize about getting back to work.

As I said earlier, life had other plans, yet again.

When my son started playschool and my Mom’s health stabilized a little – I got ready to job-hunt in a market that was going through a major slump. I was either too old (at 36) or too over-qualified – or the job involved a lot of travel… and I got slowly frustrated.

Finally, six months later, I was at the end of my tether when a neighbor told me that a friend of theirs was looking for someone to work from their home office.

My Mom encouraged me to take it up, if only to get out of the house for a few hours every day. I did.

All this while, the fear of a big expense was hanging like a sword over my head. So far, we were just about managing by scrimping on most things. My Mom was in and out of hospital…lung fibrosis is a crazy thing–the medications cause a whole lot of other health issues.
I died of guilt, thinking that here I was, capable of earning a huge salary, and not doing it. It gave me sleepless nights and often made me morose and tearful.

Then one day, my Mom sat me down and told me, firmly, that I “was enough“. My husband and she listed all that I was doing and urged me to see the brighter side.

So we didn’t have money to spare. But..I was doing two things I would never regret!

  • Looking after my Mom, being there for her
  • Bringing up my son, being there for him, watching him grow

What goes down must bounce back up

– and I was no exception. Even though the job I had at the time was paying peanuts, it did open my eyes and mind to possibilities. Who said I had to do what I had been doing throughout my career?

I explored my abilities. And came up with a healthy list – which looked bright enough to show me a new career path – and do what I always dreamed of – writing. I had nothing to lose and so, added a line that said “Looking for writing work” to my MySpace profile. (yeah, remember MySpace?)

Universe conspires, you know. And I got my first response the next day.

Blogging followed Writing in 2003…

The rest is history, people.

The path to success was paved with fear. I only needed to make up my mind to walk it anyway. I did.

And here I am.

Money can be such a deal-breaker, especially when the alternative is debt – but money’s not everything.

I am glad I had the courage to listen to my heart, even though I was filled with fear  and overcame my “what ifs” and “if onlys”. I couldn’t have done it without the support of my family and friends, though. They were my personal motivators and helped me rise above my fears! I took the risk and made it work.

Fear is Often described as False Evidence Appearing Real
Nick Vujicic

Have you been faced with a situation in life that required you to show courage and rise above your fear?

I’d love to know in the comments!

7 Comments

  • Reply
    Inderpreet Kaur Uppal
    December 15, 2014 at 12:50 am

    Vidya, so many changes and decisions that are so difficult to make. I think leaving a blooming career is a very unfair choice that we women need to make but we do it. No wonder we are the stronger ones.
    You certainly conquered your fears.It reminded me of the time I too left my job:)
    Inderpreet Kaur Uppal recently posted…Bullseye! RESCUED BY LOVE

  • Reply
    simple girl
    December 15, 2014 at 3:12 pm

    you are an incredibly strong person … It is amazing how you stuck with your heart through the tough times..
    Some decisions in life are pretty difficult, but I guess that is the sole reality …
    FEAR – “FACE EVERYTHING AND RISE” – I loved this qoute …

  • Reply
    Birgit
    December 16, 2014 at 10:52 am

    Fear can be crippling and yet one must rise above it and you did! I have been so fearful. In school I was severely bullied. In grade school I was being pushed and threatened. My mom told me, “Show no fear, cowards prey on fear”. She was always there and gave great advice and a gentle hug and a listening ear. The next day a group of girls came to me to beat me up and I faced them and told the main one that she was a coward and to let me pass. They did and I was quaking in my boots. In High School when other kids threatened to cut my throat when I was alone, lifting me off the floor by my neck, I stared them down and told them they will be caught. I was scared but I faced it. Facing my mom’s dementia and dealing with the loss of my mom who is physically here and yet not is a challenge but I always choose to face it rather than run away or hide from it. That never works out in the end.
    Birgit recently posted…My Favourite Christmas Movies

  • Reply
    G Angela
    December 18, 2014 at 11:43 am

    liked this post vidya; and nice to hear Face Everything and Rise… I heard false evidence appearing real, thanks for sharing !you have helped me think..
    G Angela recently posted…Happy Birthday Emmanuel!

  • Reply
    Lauren Kinghorn
    September 1, 2019 at 11:28 pm

    Oh Vidya, this post brought tears to my eyes! I am sooo glad you chose the path of becoming a writer because you write so beautifully. Thank You for sharing this story as I’m sure I’m not alone in identifying with your story.

    Are there times in my life when I’ve plucked up the courage to rise above my fears? Shoo, many times. And I’m sure I have many times in store for me.

    I have this interesting belief though, not entirely sure where I picked it up. When I’m riddled with angst about a decision, I remember a story I heard once about coming to a fork in the road and not knowing which path to take… and the moral of the story was that there’s no right or wrong, take either path and all will be fine, everything will work out in the end. Just choose and move forward and see where the path takes you.

    It’s all an illusion, an adventure, a dream anyway, right?

    Thanks for your inspiration, my friend. Love love love reading your posts!
    Lauren Kinghorn recently posted…Life-changing Transformations – The Victoria Everest Story

    • Reply
      Vidya Sury
      September 1, 2019 at 11:33 pm

      You, Lauren, are the sweetest person I know! I felt a little shy about sending you the link. You’ve thrilled me with your lovely comment. Yes, I’ve learned that in a moment of indecision, any decision we take is the right one, mostly because we work to make it work! Love you, Lauren. And it is true that we grow with each obstacle in life!

  • Reply
    Nicole Steyn
    October 3, 2019 at 2:18 pm

    Fear has held me back so many times in my life and I don’t think I realized it at the time. Now that I’ve faced my fears a couple times (the biggest being quitting my full-time job to start my own business), I realize how many opportunities I’ve missed out on because of fear and I don’t want to be stuck in the fear-filled state forever. Your story is so beautiful and your drive to find something you love and that fits your desired lifestyle is admirable. Thank you for sharing, Vidya!

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