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by Vidya Sury April 19, 2016 13 comments
Perspective Vidya Sury

Sometimes the day’s events get to us in such a way that the stress builds up, holds us in its grip and manages to progressively ruin the whole day.

What if we put the things that annoy us – maybe a canceled flight, a dish that went wrong while cooking, a crashed laptop, an argument with someone – and just about anything you can think of – in perspective, where we let go of the hostility they’re causing us?

My Mother was quite the expert at seeing the big picture in tense situations. One of her favorite phrases was “Don’t miss the forest for the trees”. Sometimes we focus on the small details so much that we miss the overall situation. And get stressed.

It is crazy how we get this wisdom only as we grow older. We allow stress to overwhelm us.

Can you ease stress by changing your perspective?

Stress mounts mainly because we place a lot of importance on the thing that causes the stress. And when we are in the middle of it, it is tough to see what actually deserves our stress and what does not.

So what do you do when the stress threatens to get out of control?

Here are two tricks my Mom taught me:

They involve time and space.

Spatial perspective

Pretend to see your life through the lens of a camera. There are two choices. Zoom in and see minute details of a particular situation or zoom out and see the bigger picture. Does the situation stress you? You’ve probably zoomed in , and what you see under the lens fills your perception. What if you stood back and zoomed out to see other things such as your neighborhood, your state, your country – until the earth looks like a little dot in the universe? From this vantage point, do you see the size of your problem, the one that’s freaking you out? What if you readjusted your attitude towards the problem?

Perspective in relation to time

Use the same camera lens to zoom out in time, just as you did in space. Ask yourself, how will you feel about this stress-causing situation in, say, one month from now? Maybe even a week from now? Now zoom out a few years. Will it matter then?

Each time my Mom’s health took a dip, and she was confined to her bed, she’d hold my hand as we talked. When it was time to sleep, she’d say “If I passed on in my sleep, I’d have no regrets” I’d get mad at her for mentioning the D word. Obviously I wanted her to be immortal. But she’d gently chide me and say “If we allow situations to stress us, they steal the time you should be spending on more meaningful things. So, always step back and see things from a distance and more often than not, you’ll find yourself smiling and moving on”

If someone were to tell us that we only had five years to live, would we not want to do the things that really counted? Self-awareness is a great thing. Being fully awake is even better!

Changing your perspective can change your life.

Some mindfulness practices to change your perspective are:

Being present

That’s what mindful living is all about. Give the present moment your complete attention. When you talk to someone, focus on them. No checking email surreptitiously. No phone interruptions.

Do what makes you happy

Life happens, yes. Why not focus on what makes you happy and go do it?

Take time for yourself

Some down time, some slowing down is always good. It refreshes your brain and regroups your energy.  Allow yourself a day off from time to time to put things in perspective.

Think before you do

Being intentional makes life meaningful. When you question your decisions you become more aware of what you are doing.

Eat mindfully

Of course. When you eat, focus on your meal. Savor each bite and be aware of the taste and texture. Enjoy the nourishment.

Just let go of what feels stressful

Sometimes we tend to hang on to so much baggage that we leave no space to breathe. Let go of what does not make you happy. That includes toxic people. Make space for fresh thoughts.

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Darla M Sands April 20, 2016 at 5:32 pm

Excellent advice. I have let recent family tension stress me out to the point that anxiety now seems to have a hair trigger. There is no reason for me to feel stressed now and I need to let go. Thank you for this wise reminder of the bigger picture.
Darla M Sands recently posted…Q is for Q Lazzarus & Garvey

Nicola April 21, 2016 at 1:06 am

Thanks for the inspirational post Vidya. I need to find some perspective. Been feeling immense pressure and stress these last couple of days. I need to work on that.
Nicola recently posted…Q is for Querulous

Yolanda Renee April 21, 2016 at 7:59 am

I’ve been contemplating a break from everything, and not just a week at the beach, to put into place much of what you’ve suggested here. Is it running away from other responsibilities? Or a good choice to find the right path?
Yolanda Renee recently posted…Q – QUINN

Lissa Johnston April 21, 2016 at 10:02 pm

I’m a fan of the big picture. One of my tricks is to consider how something could be worse. You can almost always envision a way in which your situation could be worse. And that makes me feel better.

Love your blog logo guy and your fonts and other imagery. Gives a very cheerful and positive vibe.

kalpanaa April 22, 2016 at 10:02 am

Wonderful advice. There’s nothing like changing your perspective to ease you out of an annoying or upsetting situation.
kalpanaa recently posted…Satapada – Seven Villages #AtoZChallenge

Arti April 22, 2016 at 1:01 pm

Absolutely love “Don’t miss the forest for the trees”.
That zooming out technique is genius. It’s such a simple thing to do to still oneself and find perspective.
Your mother is palpable in every post of yours I’ve read so far and I love that about your writing. I feel like I get to meet her, too, when I visit you blog.
Thank you Vidya:)
Arti recently posted…R is for Remind me

Kala Ravi April 22, 2016 at 4:45 pm

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful words Vidya. My detox session for the day! I am feeling rather serene after reading this! The chaos and stress of the day seem so petty and childish. Living in the moment is what one must do. Perspective is so important, like you said with time it changes, the complexity of situations, fear, anger all dissipate. Thanks for sharing these beautiful thoughts that soothe and calm Vidya.
Kala Ravi recently posted…Smart Tips for Elderly-Safe Living Spaces

themoonstone April 22, 2016 at 6:48 pm

True Vidya. Looking at the forest and the big picture, almost always puts things into perspective. The only problem is, many a times, we simply forget to not get “stressed” and I think being aware that one is getting stressed and easing off,will definitely go a long way in controlling it.
themoonstone recently posted…Emil’s Enemies

Stepheny Houghtlin April 24, 2016 at 12:42 am

Blog hopping from North Carolina finding you late as I decided to start WAY down the list of participants figuring they wouldn’t get as much traffic. Love this about the #Challenge, finding new blogs. If you have time or interest, come for TEA today on the letter T day. I have been writing about hotels and inns. Glad to have your perspective.

Mark Tong April 25, 2016 at 1:04 am

Lovely posy Vidya – putting things into perspective allows us to find happiness even in seemingly unhappy situations. Not always easily done:)

Vidya Sury April 27, 2016 at 10:42 pm

But so worth it, Mark! Thank you so much for coming by!
Vidya Sury recently posted…When I met The Dalai Lama

Ramya May 1, 2016 at 10:39 am

Lovely post Vidya! The much required does of positivity. I needed this .

Vidya Sury May 1, 2016 at 4:42 pm

Thank you so much Ramya! 🙂


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