Make Fear Your Friend

One of my favourite taglines is “Nothing is Impossible” or, to put it another way, “Everything is possible”. It took me years to believe that, though. It doesn’t have to be that way for you. I’ll tell you why shortly.

First, a story. There is something that holds us back from achieving our true potential. And that monster is “fear”. Now, I am not a scaredy-pants, really. But I grew up in a household that believed that girls shall be seen and not heard and most of the time, when an adult raised his or her voice, there was no way I could reply and have my say.

Can you imagine an entire childhood spent like that? It sort of set the stage for the growing years. While I instinctively reacted in the appropriate way, the words would get stuck in my throat. My Mother was a single parent and she was always anxious that I shouldn’t say something that would annoy the “elders”. Most of the time, this meant bottling it all up inside. You know how that feels? Not good!

On the one hand, my Mom was encouraging me to be bold, speak up. And on the other, was the home situation where we were expected to be “obedient” and do as we were told. Don’t get me wrong – my folks were not tyrants. There was plenty of love in the family – and they were only following a tradition where one could never dispute what the eldest members in the family decreed – simply because they were considered more experienced.

Point is – all this cultivated a habit – a dangerous one where I would hesitate before saying what I thought. Luckily, a year away from home in the sixth grade cured that. I confess that even today, there are times when the old fear nudges me, especially when I am anxious about something.

Do you sometimes feel like that and wish you didn’t?

Are you...

• Hanging on by a thread?
• Sick of being stuck in jobs, relationships and routines?
• Ready to bust out of your comfort zone and live free?

I have an amazing ecourse to share with you that will give you everything you need to unearth your innate courage and help you to reconnect with the brave person within.

Created by my friend, Tess Marshall,  author of the awesome blog, The Bold Life,  the 30 Days to Bold ecourse is full of tools, techniques, wisdom, and best of all the support and community.

I am excited to share our conversation here with you.

Welcome, Tess! I am delighted to have you here today! Please may you introduce yourself to the readers of this blog?

Five years ago I began working as a “courage couch.” I help my clients do what it takes to embrace their fears and live in The Bold Zone. I currently work as a writer, speaker, and courage coach. I have a master’s degree in counseling psychology and had a private practice in Michigan for 10 years. I love to guide and inspire people to overcome their fears and live-out-loud. I write at The Bold Life, for an amazing and growing community, that I love dearly. My work has allowed me to reach people all over the world.

My passion is to help others grow through their fears and take the action needed to create and live a meaningful and inspired life. I’ve written three books and created a brand new course, 30 Days to Bold.

30 Days to Bold – that’s quite a title. Tess, you already offer a very successful ecourse “Take your fear and shove it” So why 30 Days To Bold?

I understand what it is like to be paralyzed by fear. In the past, I made mistakes, I spent my time freaked out, playing small, denying and hiding from fear.

I sunk into depression and I hated my life. One day, when I couldn’t stand the pain, craziness or drama any longer… I reached out for help. I hired a therapist, attended a support group, found a mentor, hired a coach and put into practice what I learned.
Little by little, I turned my life around. I created a new story. The payoff of my post-fear life…I raised my family, I saved my marriage, became a successful therapist, a coach, an author, a professional speaker, a blogger, a writer…I achieved things I never would have thought possible.

I’ve had a successful career, over 20 years of experience, as a therapist, courage coach, speaker and writer. The course provides the proven tools and techniques that I have used myself and with clients.

In the end, I’ve been blessed with very loving and brilliant mentors and teachers throughout my lifetime. It’s my turn to give.

That’s amazing! I’ve read your story as a long time follower of your blog. I know you are transforming lives by helping people conquer fear.  Hmm. Tess, may I ask you a very personal question? I know you explained why you created 30 days to bold…but could you share a big fear that YOU managed to overcome? How did you become bold, is what I am asking.

I grew up on a produce farm with nine siblings. We were all very competitive for our parents love and attention. It was speak up or lose out. We also began working in the fields and at the Farmer’s Market as young children. At the market, we learned how to sell and turn our customers into friends! We became experts in sales by age 13! That’s a childhood of bold action.

Tess, that sounds exactly like my Mom’s family! Please, do go on!

My biggest challenge, thus far, was getting married and pregnant when I was 17, a senior in high school. Our only plan was “love!” I was the mom to four little girls at age 22. My third pregnancy was twins. We really didn’t have a plan until we began seeing a counselor 10 years later. That was a turning point. We finally had the tools needed to move forward in a healthy and happy manner. There is nothing more difficult than raising children. Nothing! I was only 38 when the twins graduated from high school.

A mother is a coach! I didn’t know it at the time, but they helped me become the courage coach I am today! There is no difference between you and I. Together, we can unearth your courageous self. It’s never too late. The time is now.

You are so right. A Mother is a coach and I was very fortunate mine was a teacher by profession and a fantastic mentor to me. Please tell us about a difficult time and how you overcame your fear.

My daughter Kristy was born without a right hand. I was afraid for her. I knew life would be difficult at times and of course you want to save your kids from pain. I pushed her to do things she didn’t think she could. She also was determined to do what her sisters did.

Kristy learned how to play sports using her stub. She played basketball and soccer. She went on to the University of Chicago and played there for two years as well, before she reached her limits. Now she runs marathons, participates in triathlons and works for an athletic shoe company.

I didn’t let Kristy off the hook. Didn’t let her make excuses. She used to say when she was a little girl, “I can’t do the dishes because I only have one hand.” I’d reply, “Oh yes you can, it will just take you longer.” The way I overcame all my fears around my parenting and marriage was one step at a time.

You give new meaning to the phrase “Nothing is Impossible”, Tess.  Kristy is such a great example!  I remember your post about how Kristy kicked her obstacles to the curb to live her dream. What do you hope that people will take away after completing 30 Days to Bold?

I want them to see that they are not alone and that there is nothing wrong with them. We all fail, we all make mistakes and we all have flaws. I want them to own their power and innate goodness. I want them to use their innate courage and have faith in themselves. I want to see them use their gifts, talents and to offer them to others along the path. When one of us succeeds, we all succeed in making the world a better place to live! Dennis Waitley said, “There is only one big risk you should avoid at all costs, and that is the risk of doing nothing.”

So specifically, who would benefit the most from 30 days to bold?

• Anyone who is tired of false beliefs, facades and wants to live authentically
• Anyone needing practical tools and concrete tips on how to grab hold of their fears—with a sense of power, excitement and bold
• Anyone who is interested in joining a community of people who are not waiting for “someday” to change their lives
• Anyone who wants to overcome excuses, rejection and failure and move from victim to creator
• Anyone who is sick and tired of paralyzing fear and is ready for greater and deeper success, love and happiness

Whoa! That’s a lot of people who can use this course to change their lives and follow their dreams fearlessly! Thank you so much, Tess, for your presence here today!

Dear friends,

Make fear work for you instead of against you
Unearth your innate strength and freedom

The day is today, because there is no “someday”

Remember: Success is written in your DNA. You were born whole, innocent, and courageous. Recover your power in order to go forth boldly and share your gifts with the world!

I urge you to sign up by February 1, 2013 to instantly to also receive Tess’s “Take Your Fear and Shove It” ecourse for free. It has helped over 1000 people live free. I personally endorse this, being one of the lucky persons to receive the course directly from Tess.

Course begins on February 18, 2013.

Question for you:

 What is one fear that holds you back, that you would like to overcome? Please share!