Home health and wellness tips Parenting Teenagers With Love And Logic – 7 Things We Do

Parenting Teenagers With Love And Logic – 7 Things We Do

by Vidya Sury June 18, 2013 17 comments
parenting teenagers with love and logic

My current mission in life is raising a happy teenager. Parenting teenagers with love and logic involves ensuring their mental as well as physical health, what with all the pressures they have to handle in their busy young lives.

So for my parenting post at Parentous this week, I decided to recap what we’re doing to keep our son happy, healthy and stress-free as he juggles his daily schedule. Obviously, it involves a lot of practicing what we preach and I love that because it is a great way for all of us to nudge each other when one of us lags behind. The joy and laughter that accompanies these push-pull situations is absolutely enjoyable.

Parenting teenagers with love and logic

….with special focus on health:

Mission: Raising One Happy Teenager

Now that the excitement of Class X results has abated, a new era begins. Coaching classes, time management blues and oh, yes, school! Class XI is a crazy time for the 15-year-old. Most of them, depending on the subjects they choose or the curriculum they have studied in are likely to step into “college” while others like my son choose to continue in the same school for the next two years.

A number of these students are no strangers to coaching classes – since a majority aim for professional courses whose entrance exams are tough to crack. Thanks to an institute that offers coaching classes for these joint entrance exams that approached the school to choose a handful of meritorious students for free coaching, our son also goes to a coaching class.

Needless to say (but I have to say it anyway) time is super tight. We’re enjoying the last week of his school holidays before the academic year begins next week.

While I am quite sure that after the initial time management struggles he will settle down to the new routine, I have to confess that I secretly freak out thinking of how he is going to juggle school, school work, coaching classes, and the related assignments and tests and music class with practice sessions. Oh, not to forget his hobbies, being an avid reader and devoted artist.

As my head silently reels, I am thinking of ways to keep him mentally and physically healthy so that he can handle the various pressures that go with his territory with ease. I realize we must have a broad daily schedule that will help him pack in all that he wants to do.

parenting teenagers with love and logic
three woman holding each other and smiling while taking a photo

Here’s what I have on my list – we do most of these things, but find that it is always a good idea to revisit! I am not going to talk about food since that is a given.

1. Practice what we preach as parents

Make sure we go for that walk

As working parents, our stress levels fluctuate between high and higher, so we consciously have ways to minimize it. We do this by getting enough exercise. We’re blessed with a beautiful lake and a walking area around it and make sure we go for that walk at least four times a week. This takes care of together time where we get to talk and share things and exercise. Exercise is a proven way to reduce stress.

2. Get enough sleep

If there is one way to guarantee good health, it is getting enough sleep. We are often guilty of staying up late to finish pending stuff, but now we have a house rule that we’ll go to bed at a specific time because no matter when we sleep, I am up at 5.30 am and the others are up at 6.30 am.

Teenagers need at least nine hours of sleep for good mental health and to stay sharp. It helps them handle the day better. My son makes sure he is in bed latest by 10 pm so that he can be up around 6.30 – 6.45 am.

3. Exercise

Being busy is not the same as being fit

While it looks like I covered this in the first point, that was about stress. This one is specifically about exercise for him. Being busy is not the same as being fit. Physical activity is a must for growing kids. It relieves stress and keeps them in a good mood.

Our son ensures he gets at least one hour every day – stretching, jogging and walking, besides games at school. Then there are those household chores he helps with that count just a wee bit.

4. Don’t give up hobbies

Everyone needs a creative vent and children are no exception. When they lose themselves in their favorite hobbies, they are mentally healthy, happy, and energized. Our son is devoted to music and is in his eighth year of music school. He also enjoys sketching and reading. We enjoy the results.

I know a lot of people believe that Grades 11 and 12 must be focused on studying, but it should not be to the exclusion of relaxation. We are not raising zombies.

5. Give them space

Why should growing up be hard?

I’ve always believed in facilitating rather than pushing – God knows today’s teenager has enough stress to handle. Why should growing up be hard? Besides physical space of their own, growing children need mental space.

Space to be quiet, where they can let their thoughts wander, dream and regroup their energies. Space to let them look within and feel good about themselves.

6. Encourage them to talk

Out of our heads, problems always look smaller

While space is essential, so is communication. We encourage our son to share his problems. So maybe we can’t always solve them, but it always helps to get it out in the open. Out of our heads, problems always look smaller. Bottling up is bad for health.

Talking reduces anxiety. I also encourage my son to email me or his Dad whenever he likes. The sheer novelty of doing it has built a nice and cozy channel of communication between us.

7. Dual routines

We have a routine for school days and a different one for days when the evening is free. Strangely, weekends are the busiest. The three days when the evening is free are Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Sundays and we make sure they are devoted to together time as much as possible. They are also evenings for connecting with neighbors, visiting friends or the local welfare home.

Life will always have something to worry about. Coping is a necessity. But so is having fun in the process.

After all, healthy child, happy child, right? And parenting teenagers with love and logic is the only way!

parenting perspectives

I’d love to hear your comments/tips.

Right now, my biggest challenge is keeping my sanity as my son hounds me with the housework list I made. I am letting good sense prevail as I delegate *wink*! Yep – I am holding that thought about parenting teenagers with love and logic!

Am I blessed or what?

parenting with love and logic

Share this post ❤

You may also like


Richa Singh June 18, 2013 at 10:50 pm

Vidya the post is such a heartfelt one. Now I will proceed to read the complete on on parentous.com. And though presently I dont have a kid I can completely forsee that similar things will happen to me. P.S the reading and artist part was good but it was music that caught my attention. How lovely of you to give a complete development Kudos! “A superson is an offspring of a super mom (my own quote!)”

Louise Lewis July 3, 2013 at 1:00 am

Kids are the treasures of the family. They are so precious, in short. That’s why mom are just right when they deciding to give something the kids won’t forget. I salute to all moms with that mission!
Louise Lewis recently posted…Health Problems Trigger Preference for MoM Hip Replacement Implants

Vidya Sury July 3, 2013 at 11:31 am

You are absolutely right, Louise! Thanks for your lovely comment!

Anne-Sophie June 19, 2013 at 8:01 am

I can only imagine raising a teenager, but I do remember how weird that time was for me. I’m sure that your son will be appreciate of all your wonderful support and love.
Anne-Sophie recently posted…When Life Gets in the Way

Betsy/Zen Mama June 19, 2013 at 8:37 am

I’ll definitely go read! Sounds like great advice! Have your read the book by Jim Fay called Love and Logic? A great book for raising kids. Somehow I can’t imagine that Vidur is that bad of a teenager…
Betsy/Zen Mama recently posted…Great Gratitude (and a few quotes!) For the Fathers In My Life!

Vidya Sury July 3, 2013 at 11:32 am

Vidur is a nice teenager, Betsy. 😀 But we always have to be alert to peer pressure and reaction. So far, we’re lucky. I haven’t read Jim Fay’s book. I must get it! Hugs!

Rahul June 19, 2013 at 9:55 am

That was a lot of wisdom packed write up Vidya! Could not agree more:)

Bhavya June 19, 2013 at 10:15 am

You sure have your hands full and he has his schedule full. Here’s wishing you guys loads of enjoyment as you juggle everything on your hands. 🙂
Bhavya recently posted…Birthday Wish

B k chowla June 19, 2013 at 11:26 am

Would you agree that bringing up a teenage boy is relatively more difficult than bringing up a girl?
B k chowla recently posted…MEDIA-MISPLACED PRIORITIES

Fran Sorin June 19, 2013 at 12:21 pm


My kids are long gone from the house BUT your words are wise ones.

The older I get, the more I believe that the most important thing is to listen to your child, allow them to follow their passions and be who they are. Mix in love, discipline, and constant teaching – and the chances of ending up with ‘happy young adults’ is greatly increased – no guarantees at all- but doing the above was helpful to me. 🙂 Fran
Fran Sorin recently posted…How A Rooftop Vegetable Garden Makes Me Joyful

wendy merron June 19, 2013 at 6:43 pm

Ah…if only I could do it all over again!
I would listen A LOT more.
I would worry A LOT less.
wendy merron recently posted…3 Things to STOP Doing NOW and Improve Your Life FAST.

Jodi @ Heal Now June 20, 2013 at 3:30 pm

Sounds heavenly! I will take tha advice! <3
Jodi @ Heal Now recently posted…How To Write An Affirmation That Works

Debbie June 19, 2013 at 9:36 pm

Sound like you have this one down Vidya.. I am glad that those years or passed. Talking and listening to teens is a big part of those years.

i had to learn to let go and let them make there choice, but always be there if they need help getting back up.

I have heard that boys are easier that girls, but I guess if you just have girls you don’t know any different and it all works out.

Thanks for sharing and your wise words, Vidya.
Debbie recently posted…Are You A Father Or A Sperm Donor?

Mantha June 19, 2013 at 10:24 pm

Vidya, you are indeed blessed! We are just getting into our school holidays here and I have 2 of my girls here at home with me and keeping them mentally and physically healthy is my main goal this summer. I do so love hearing about your family and your son seems to be a wonderful example of a great teenager. Now I am off to read more!

Mantha recently posted…The Healing Power of NASCAR

Diana Pinto June 20, 2013 at 4:12 pm

I agree it is hard to bring up a teenager in these stressful times. I have a three year old son too and I’m beggining to wonder how times would would be when he’s a teenager. I liked the wonderful and useful tips you shared on Parentous.

Christopher James August 8, 2013 at 9:29 am

This early I’m already worrying about that stage. But as one of your commenters put it, “Worry LESS, Listen MORE.”

Vidya Sury August 8, 2013 at 9:54 am

🙂 And enjoy the present moments. 🙂 Thanks for chiming in, Christopher!
Vidya Sury recently posted…Dishing Out Happiness


Leave a Comment

CommentLuv badge