Home Happiness 10 Attitudes To Ditch If You Want To Be Happy

10 Attitudes To Ditch If You Want To Be Happy

by Vidya Sury October 11, 2014 6 comments
be happy vidya sury

Happiness is a good place to be. Living well, living mindfully applies no matter what stage we are in life – childhood or adulthood. So here’s my list 10 attitudes to ditch if you want to be happy. With age, comes the wisdom to make lists. And here is mine:

10 attitudes to ditch if you want to be happy

be happy vidya sury

Hatred and grudges

Hatred in any form is detrimental to health and steals your energy. While I am not the type of person who “hates” I do get mad with people sometimes. Temporarily. Still, what I’ve realized is this: hating or harboring ill-feelings gets you nowhere. It won’t reverse what happened and it definitely won’t make you feel better, unless you count that momentary sense of satisfaction at cussing them. So it is best, for our own good, to let it go. Try forgiveness for your own sake. Don’t hold those grudges


Good clean gossip – who doesn’t love it? So long as it produces a good laugh among friends and eases your tension – and lets you move on happily with your routine, good. But when it becomes a habit and you revel in saying mean things – you know you’re in trouble. My policy is – as far as possible, if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing. That doesn’t mean being silent when you should speak up.

Being Ungrateful

Gratitude is the direct route to happiness. I have proof. It is worth cultivating as an attitude, a habit. Focusing on what we have rather than what we don’t have will only make us happy. So if you’d rather be happy (who wouldn’t?), being grateful has to be a habit. Develop the ability to see the silver lining no matter how bleak some things look! What am saying is – count your blessings. Regularly.

Toxic friends

You know those frenemies, those pseudo-friends. Everyone has them. Those clingy people who fill your ear with their whiny tales, their complaints and who, when you finally try to help them, will ignore your advice and carry on exactly the same way. And be back to go through the whole hamster wheel experience. Tiring, annoying. Let go of these “friends”. Friendship has to be interactive and the ones who permanently lean on you are the ones that believe in give and take. You give, they take. Know what I mean? Weed them out, now. And don’t be guilty. They’ll just find someone else, they will!


Less is really more, people. As I find out every single day now. I’ve been working hard at clearing my clutter. I’ve made spring cleaning a year-round activity. Living as we do in a decently sized apartment, it is all too easy to accumulate. Also, I grew up in a thrifty household where the “waste-not-want-not” concept was rigidly followed. Old habits die hard. But new habits must take the place of old if we are to move on. Purging helps to focus on the things that matter – relationships, people and things we really enjoy doing. So now is a good time to go through your closet, your attic, your life – and discard what you haven’t needed or used in three months. No just-in-cases!


Seriously, this is one big thing to let go of. You know what the Buddha said. Desire is the cause of all suffering. It is true. When you expect nothing, you are never disappointed. When we’re happy with what we have, life takes on meaning.

The extra weight

I just had to add that in, right? Health is wealth. Maintaining a healthy weight is the key to good health. So dump the extra pounds. Take action now.

Confusing complex with complicated

Complexity is interesting. Fun, even, whether it is people or things. Complicated, not really. Simplify, don’t complicate. Enjoy the complex, and kiss the complicated goodbye.

Saying yes by default

Yikes, I suffer from this and am working on letting it go. I really must learn to “say no” more often. Why the need to please everyone? If something cuts into our time or makes us unhappy, why do it?

Fear of growing old

Really! What is to get scared of? Age is a number, most of the time. It is how we live that counts. Do the things that you are passionate about. Don’t put off things. Ditch the someday thinking. You are never too old to dare to dream and live your dream!

Do not regret growing old. It is a privilege denied to many

So now tell me – what do you think of this list?

Got additions? Let me know and I’ll add them to this post and credit you!

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Mary October 12, 2014 at 12:12 am

I so loved this! What a great reminder to rid ourselves of the things that bring us down. Thank you!
Mary recently posted…Rocktober 11, 2014 The Cranberries

Sophie Bowns October 12, 2014 at 1:14 am

People been cruel towards me, I don’t think I can think happy thoughts about them!
-More often than not, I say nothing.

Birgit October 13, 2014 at 1:07 am

Love your list and it is so true. I can’t say I forgive but I realize nothing can change the past and I must change how I review it. Does this mean I forgive those people that hurt my family so horribly and me? No. I don’t wish them ill will but they are toxic so they are better left in the past and one can move on. I would add too, to not be afraid to share something that may have happened. Once we talk about it, we no longer carry it within to fester. By acknowledging it, acing it and dealing with it, we can move on from it. On Oct 11th, we went to a 50th birthday party. It was wonderful. There are a brother and sister that are on the other side of strange. They still live at home(she is 51 and he is 49), they do everything together and act quite “weird” together like they are a couple. I have known them for 27 years. She is caustic and so negative. Everything I mentioned yesterday, she tried to start a little battle. I was feeling bad that I had not spoken to her since early June and thought of e-mailing her (they never pick up the phone)but she confirmed why I have distanced myself from her. Thank you for having the Get rid of negative people in your top 10 list. It reinforces what I was thinking
Birgit recently posted…A Card for All of You!

Priya October 14, 2014 at 10:28 am

Love the post and agree with all your points! I also struggle with saying no a lot of times.
Priya recently posted…Top 10 Myths about Parenting

Betsy/Zen Mama October 18, 2014 at 4:19 am

I shared this on my Zen Mama Facebook page and it’s already been shared 39 times! You spoke to many people with this great post!!
Betsy/Zen Mama recently posted…What I Expected Was Not What I Got: Letting Go of Judgment and Green Tomatoes

Proactive Indian October 19, 2014 at 7:22 pm

Great list!
Some of the points are linked. For example, if you don’t gossip and are comfortable saying ‘No’, you needn’t do much more to get rid of toxic friends!
Proactive Indian recently posted…Parenting by example


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