There is more hunger for love and appreciation in this world than for bread. ~ Mother Teresa
Compliments are extremely powerful and we never know when we can change a life with a few words of appreciation. For all you know, you may have said something complimentary at the right moment, resulting in lifelong motivation.
Sadly, even though people love to receive compliments and the benefits are well-known both for the giver and receiver, people are not generous with them. What if we pledged to change that and decide to encourage one another? Still skeptical?
Here’s are reasons to practice giving compliments more:
Imagine changing the course of a person’s life by saying the positive words she needs to hear at the crucial moment! You’re practically making them believe in themselves!
- Your compliment may be the bridge between someone’s success and decision to give up
- Interact with children or a parent? Encouraging them helps them learn via positive feedback.
- Compliments are great for bonding relationships. They show you care.
- And of course, compliments are ideal as icebreakers between you and someone you want to resolve issues with. Oh yes, it involves humility and finding something worth complimenting, but isn’t it worth it to do that and move on, especially if you need a working relationship with that person?
- Compliments make you more likeable. Who doesn’t love a person who radiates positivity?
See what I mean?
Most of all, my favorite reason for complimenting is this: it helps focus on the positive. We become more tuned to the good stuff. We look for positive qualities and this automatically opens up opportunities to appreciate those we interact with!
But what stops us from complimenting more often?
It is sad that the human brain is wired to focus on negative things. We tend to give more importance to our negative experiences rather than the good ones. We can blame evolution for this. Cavemen learned to survive because of their increasing awareness of danger. Nevertheless, while helping them stay safe, it also evolved into a situation where we tend not to notice the good things. We go to a restaurant to eat. The waiter messes up our order. Of course, we notice and get mad. What about when they give great service? We just take it for granted.
Then there are people who withhold compliments because it makes them feel they’re admitting that the person they are complimenting is better than them. Isn’t that sad?
What if we decided to be more mindful? Instead of readily grouching about what went wrong, how about noticing all that’s right? We only have to look. How about letting go of that self-absorption and looking outside ourselves? Why not consciously look for the positives around us and look for opportunities to compliment?
Lets look at how to tune ourselves to giving compliments
- Observe and notice. Be more alert to opportunities to compliment.
- Don’t wait for a major event. It is okay to compliment the little things. Go ahead and admire the obvious – hey, great hairdo; cool scarf; fab shades; love the way you (fill in the blank); you have great taste in (fill in the blank)…take it away!
- Be specific, as that makes you more genuine and proves you noticed and sounds more encouraging, especially with children
- Which brings us to being sincere. Genuine compliments win people while insincere ones lack credibility
- Be direct, be open. Why mask a compliment? Ever been told your writing is surprisingly good? Instead, why not “You’re an amazing writer” What about “Considering your age, you look great” Why not “You’re looking great today”. And then there’s the universal “not bad” If you think the person doesn’t deserve a compliment, simply say nothing.
- Express yourself. Perhaps some people find it hard to compliment because they can’t find the right words, and let the moment pass. This happens a lot with people we know well.
- Compliment publicly. Carries so much more weight, don’t you think?
- If you overhear something good about someone, let them know.
- Compliment people who are not around. What a compliment to praise someone in their absence!
- Do it now. The moment you notice something nice about someone, let them know.
So, how about practicing being that person with a warm heart, one who is always ready to offer an encouraging word or something nice to say to everyone we meet? And don’t forget to accept compliments graciously!
March 1 is World Compliment Day
‘World Compliment Day’ simply addresses the basic human need for recognition and appreciation. Nobody wins commercially, but everybody gains emotionally. And therein lies its power.
March 1st is just about consciously reflecting on what someone in your area does well and letting that person know he/she is sincerely appreciated for that. It should be done through words instead of gifts. “A sincere and personal compliment costs nothing, but the impact on the recipient is huge,” says Hans Poortvliet, recognition professional and the driving force behind the annual event in the Netherlands. “Nothing stimulates more, gives more energy, makes people happier and, as far as business is concerned, increases productivity and commitment faster than sincere appreciation. So why not use it a little bit more?”
I so agree with you Vidya! I love complimenting people, for whatever they do. And the effect those good words have on them can’t be described in words! It speaks through the twinkle in their eyes and their entire demeanour changes!
Now, one for you, too! You are simply amazing! How DO you manage it all?? If I would be able to do even 50% of what you do, I would consider it an achievement! Bravo, girl! So glad to have met you! You and Shailaja have become my idols! ?❤
Your post was a lovely read 🙂 Happy compliments day. Praising someone in their absence is indeed a wonderful thing to do. Thanks for sharing the pointers with us.
Now this is a day I love and celebrate all the time. I loved that illustration – smart and sweet all at the same time.
Obsessivemom recently posted…Sports day and a regret
Happy Compliments Day Vidya! My mama taught me if you can’t say something nice you shouldn’t say anything at all which is why I always find something nice, and compliments and about the best way to go!
Vidya, I never knew it was world compliment day and so glad I do now! I love your words, message and way you deliver it. Thank you!
That is such a beautiful thing to share Vidya.. I didn’t know that.. And a very Compliment Day to you.. You really have a magic wand in your hand that knows how to keep happiness alive in others life, or rather you know how to help others bring their happiness out, simply by writing such incredible posts, and I personally feel this about you 🙂
You’re really compassionate, and full of gratitude 🙂 and I love this 🙂
Geets recently posted…Reflections February 2016
Compliments are so hard for some. My boss is one who does not give them out but, instead, likes to intimidate. My best friend’s husband is the same…in fact, when he hires a woman, he drives until he makes her cry. This is just so sad and they ar bullies, sad bullies. I believe in compliments and try to give my clients compliments when I can. I think if one can give compliments it shows the person is more comfortable with who they are.
Missed this because of the travel, but here;s a bit fat compliment coming your way – you are fabulous, your smile is contagious – in the sense that it makes you want to smile and a super cool writer 🙂
Sid recently posted…Have you found your dream home yet?
What an awesome post! I agree with every word of yours Vidya. I love to receive compliments and pay them as well.
“Be specific, as that makes you more genuine and proves you noticed and sounds more encouraging, especially with children” – This is truly important, with adults too.
Did I mention that the top pic of a ruler and rock is “oh so perfect!” 😀
Your writing makes compliments looks so genuine and beautiful. It’s an emotion filled with positive energy. You rock, Vidya:)
Vishal Bheeroo recently posted…Wednesday #120: Capturing life on reel
Such a lovely post and indeed pointers that will help all of us to compliment better and more often.
Rachna recently posted…Urban Clap â Service Review
You rightly mentioned about giving complements, Vidya. A little compliment can give someone courage to change one’s life & spread happiness. I didn’t know about World Complement Day. I’m glad that I came here and learn something new. 🙂
Ravish Mani recently posted…Abhaya by Saiswaroopa Iyer
In the past, I have been a bit miserly with compliments, because I’ve met a lot of people who give fake compliments like it’s no one’s business. I think a part of me was worried if I was generous with compliments, people would either take it for granted or club me in with the fakers. But then, I noticed if I did give out the odd compliment once in a while, people would beam at me like I’d just made their day. And you know what, that made my day! Compliments work like that.
Happy world compliments to you too 🙂 🙂
I see exactly what you mean, Sreesha! While I am generous with compliments, I always make it a point to be specific. Receiving them? I still have a way to go. I tend to feel slightly embarrassed when people compliment me on a physical attribute – probably because I secretly don’t believe them. I guess I gotta work on the self-love scene eh? Practice what I preach 😀 And yes, some people do tend to go overboard and don’t sound genuine at all!
Now you… are exactly the person I enjoy seeing to accomplish my “collecting smiles” tagline – you have such a beautiful one! I like how your eyes widen ever so little when you fully smile. Hugs! Happy complimenting!
Vidya Sury recently posted…Gratitude is like a flashlight
OMG! That’s the sweetest compliment I’ve ever received I think 🙂 🙂 🙂 Thank you!
Sreesha recently posted…Circled In My Mind
Thank you for sharing this wonderful post, Vidya. Truly said, compliments when shared genuinely can brighten up a normal day and bring a smile on a person’s face. It definitely stays with them for years to come & always brings great memories when reminisced about. Since I deal with students on a regular basis, I make it a point to appreciate their little achievements on the go so they feel proud of the milestone and also feel motivated to keep at it. 🙂
I hear you on the feeling awkward about receiving compliments, Vidya. I tend to blush and brush it away most often. Being genuine and sincere in our compliments is actually easy but most people balk at the idea, thinking it will make them seem odd.
What a lovely day indeed.
Shailaja recently posted…Eventful and memorable- The week that was
I have been a miser at giving compliments for the first 25 years of my life, but things changed soon after. Working under a manager who was generous with complimenting everyone around her, made me realize the beauty of complimenting like there’s no tomorrow (genuine and without wasting a breath to say it).
I agree with you that over time, genuine compliments do breed positivity that makes life appear like a happy ride rather than a battlefield 😀
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Yup, really a little compliment can change the fate of a person and sometimes relations too……!!
lovely post enjoyed reading it
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The hunger of love and appreciation can be overcome, if you start loving yourself and start enjoying your own company, approval of others is not needed all the time.
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