As a Mom I tend to be a little laid back. I am not the kind of person who nags. I remember when my son was in the third standard/grade, his teacher asked the class to name three things they liked about their Mom. I still recall how excited I was to see his list! He mentioned that I never scolded him in public, was always loving and smiling and hugged him a lot.
I must have been doing some things right!
I focus on parenting with love and logic because children, no matter how old they are, deserve to be loved and treated with respect.
Let’s face it. For parents with a growing child, the stage that seems the most challenging is when the children become teenagers. At this stage, they are in the “too old for… and too young to….” slot, making it tricky to deal with them, yet maintain a comfortable relationship with them where communication is open.
I’ve found that one thing that has worked for me in helping me connect with my teenage son is unconditional love. I used to find it amusing when my Mom would talk about it – but obviously it worked for her as well, and it was only natural that I would learn a few parenting techniques from her.
Right from when he was a baby, I had some non-negotiables – spending focused time with him, cuddling, being present, and 100% listening. At the end of the day, children value presence more than presents, don’t they? Well, it all seems to have paid off!
As he grew up, I like to think that I learned as much from him as he learned from me. Of course, like everyone else, I too looked for parenting advice, but found that invariably, I had to rely on my intuition to kick in and show me the way. While this was successful in many instances, sometimes I too learned the hard way. I secretly feel proud of myself for being open to the learning.
So, coming back to what I said earlier – unconditional love has been the foundation for my relationship with my son.
I’d love to know what you think.