When the going gets tough

“When the going gets tough, the tough get going” is what we hear all the time. It is the ideal response, but in life, more specifically, as parents, we often find ourselves face to face with less than ideal situations. In fact, more often than not, we hardly get time to discuss things and have to react spontaneously, hoping it is the right response. If we are lucky, six out of ten times, we are. If not, well, we live and learn. Interaction with others helps a great deal since children are every adept at presenting us with unique situations. When we talk to other parents and our own relatives, we get to hear about live case studies and how they were resolved (or not).

And we all learn from one another, even if it is what not to do! One thing we all agree upon is diffusing the situation with a joke or two, bringing on the smiles and moving on.Nothing like humor to lighten life up.

We enjoy raving and ranting together. I am particularly fond of two Moms who always have nice things to say about their kids and I think, oh, so like my own Mom. The idea is, if we don’t praise our children as we raise them, who will?

My Grandmother taught me a lot about attitude. I’ve learned:

Not to mix up issues

I always practice this. I do not allow an isolated incident mess up my entire day.Practicing the habit of not mixing up issues is an important coping skill. After all, just because a particular dish did not come out the way it was expected to doesn’t stop us from cooking the next meal!

To keep the faith

No matter how bad things seem to be, things will get better. This too shall pass. What goes down must come up. Oh, I know how tough this one can be, even for us as adults! But sometimes, we just have to keep on keeping on. And when you are convinced of this, you can convince your child. Practice pep talk. You’ll be surprised how easily it comes to you.

To wait and watch

Sometimes, we cannot control things. Worrying does not work and it won’t change the outcome. Teaching this to our children makes them mentally stronger. Flying off the handle at the slightest sign of the unexpected not only sets a lousy example, it is also bad for your health. A common example is being stuck in a traffic jam.

For more coping strategies that make parenting a joy, please read my post at Parentous titled

How to cope with the going gets tough

Here is an excerpt:

“When the going gets tough, the tough get going” is what we hear all the time.

 

Parenting is challenging, to say the least, because who knows what tomorrow may bring; however, I am happy to say that in our family, we lean quite heavily on humor, laughter, compassion and a lot of empathy as coping strategies. We have learned to be patient and listen (and often take a few deep breaths, sometimes several) before opening our mouths.

 

Here are some coping strategies we depend on and have found successful, most of the time. Not saying we always succeeded; after all, we did not receive the instruction manual when we became parents, but I’d say we’ve managed quite decently. We have come out stronger for it.

 

Look at the funny side

 

Seeing the funny side of a tense situation brings relief from stress. Humor is a wonderful way to change one’s perception of things and gives you a feeling of having a hold of the situation….

Continue reading at “How to cope with the going gets tough”

And please let me know what you think.

How do you cope when the going gets tough?