#AtoZChallenge Mindful Living parenting Wednesday Wisdom

Parenting without Pressure #WednesdayWisdom

Parenting without pressure #wednesdaywisdom #mindfulness #atozchallenge

A retired teacher and a corporate executive lived next to each other. Both had gardens. The retired teacher watered the plants gently when required while the executive was enthusiastically looked after the plants, constantly parenting them, attending to them at every little opportunity.

The gardens flourished. The teacher’s plants were doing well, but the executive’s plants were remarkably lush and greener.  Every one who passed by stopped to admire and praise it.

Then, one night, there was a storm accompanied by heavy rains and wind. The following morning, the teacher and executive stepped out to inspect their garden and take stock of the damage.

The executive’s garden was a mess, with the plants uprooted and most of it destroyed because of the flooding. When he looked over the fence at his neighbor’s garden, he was shocked. The plants were still standing strong and didn’t seem very much worse for the storm. He hurried over to the teacher’s house and asked him, “I looked after my plants better than you did yours. How is it possible that mine are damaged and yours are fine?”

The wise teacher replied, “You were more attentive towards our plants and watered them often and because of this, they didn’t really have to work hard. You made it easy for them. I, on the other hand, simply gave my plants just enough water. This encouraged the roots to spread out and seek more and as a result, they went deeper and became stronger. That’s why my plants survived.”

It is not what you do for your children but what you have taught them to do for themselves that will make them successful human beings. #parenting #mindfulness #atozchallenge #wednesdaywisdom

Parenting is quite like gardening. When we shower our children with love, that’s fine. When we give them everything they want and sometimes, even before they ask, they often fail to understand what it takes to earn these things. They take it for granted. Sometimes, it is better to offer guidance instead of giving them what they want. It is fine to teach them to walk but allow them to follow their path and stumble a little. They’ll get back on their feet a little stronger each time, learning the value of making mistakes and become better individuals.

What do you think?

#WednesdayWisdom is a series with short bursts of easy-to-consume wisdom in the form of stories, quotes, anecdotes, and humor.

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7 Comments

  • Reply
    Angel Stew & Devil's Brew
    April 19, 2018 at 5:08 am

    I love this and I am so thankful for my independent children. Everyone always compliments me on how wonderful the kids are and I always tell people, these kids did all of this amazing stuff on their own. It might have been a tougher road but they none the worse for the wear. 🙂

  • Reply
    Shalzmojo
    April 19, 2018 at 7:13 am

    So so true Vidya and what a story to highlight the fact. I look at my younger generation and thats what I feel for them. My parents generation didnt molly coddle too much and expected us to fend for ourselves. I guess thats what made me stronger and more resilient to things. My younger gen has had parents who gave them everything before they asked for or didnt work too hard for – result they are more expectant from the world for themselves, without working hard for it.

  • Reply
    Lee @ Dragon'sEyeView
    April 19, 2018 at 5:54 pm

    I think you are so right! I pinned this to my “parenting dragons” board — I say I want my kids to grow up in one breath and ask if I can make them breakfast in the next! 🙂

    • Reply
      Vidya Sury
      April 19, 2018 at 6:09 pm

      Thank you, Lee! I get that totally! I remember wishing that some days when my son was a toddler! But now, I have to confess I wonder where the time went! He’s 20 now!
      Thanks again!

  • Reply
    Birgit
    April 19, 2018 at 8:57 pm

    I so agree with what you wrote and that story is brilliant! I love the quote as well and I so wish parents would read this and rather than be defensive, take it to heart and let their children learn by stumbling. I have seen too many parents be in debt to the tune of $70,000 Through credit card debt, credit line and overdraft all because of their children. The children are often still living at their parents’ home with everything being done for them, their wash being done, they gets meals and are never asked to help and the kids are 27 or even in their 30’s! When the parents die, the kids won’t know what to do which I see as well. The kids live in the house and are given the home when the parent passes away. The kids end up getting a mortgage and get into debt and then come to my office wanting me to fix everything. I just shake my head

  • Reply
    Sachin Baikar
    April 22, 2018 at 8:23 pm

    Totally agree…very well written post.
    Thanks for sharing 🙂

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