As a parent I tend to view my life as a two-phase thing. BV and V. Before Vidur and Vidur. Such is the transformation a baby brings. I fondly recall the day when I discovered I was pregnant. I remember literally bursting with joy and we couldn’t wait to tell my Mom. We rushed to the nearest phone (those were non-cellphone days) and called her with the exciting news. Of course, she was totally delighted and we began counting the days for her to join us.
I couldn’t wait to get her flight booking done. Soon after, we brought her to live with us and together we looked forward to the arrival of our angel. I still remember how much we laughed over Sury having to take an Air India flight while Mom and I followed by Jet Airways. It was my Mom’s first ever trip by air!
Anyway, fast forward a few months and Vidur chose a Sunday to step into this world – and our lives changed forever at the sight of this serene little guy whose hands always seemed to hold the “cincihna mudra” (understanding) or “jnana mudra” (knowledge) or “Dharmachakra Mudra” (teaching) most of the time, fascinating us all. (More about Mudras here). We had people coming in to see him and wondered what was up. Turns out they were Sai Baba devotees as his birthday is on the same day, November 23.
Vidur was the most delightful baby and the neighbors would complain that they never heard him cry. He brought infinite happiness into our lives. Ah, happy memories.
I enjoy being Vidur’s Mom. I think he has helped me grow as an individual with his simple and wonderful logic. I think I’ve learned most of my parenting skills from him. Most notably, compassionate parenting. We are all softies of varying degrees in our house and we are fine with it. We believe that love conquers all.
The secret is compassionate parenting
It is amazing how different the world looks when we let go of negative thinking or defensive responses when things don’t go as we would like. I have learned to love the surprises that parenting brings. Most of all, I appreciate my son, because, to repeat a cliche, it is just as challenging to bring up good parents, as good children!
Did I have a role model? Of course, yes. My Mom. The first thing I learned from her was communication. Rather than say “Don’t do this….” I say “Please do this..” and appreciate it when he finishes it. We don’t shout in our house and it is not because we don’t feel like. It is just that we choose not to. We prefer to control ourselves and handle things calmly when we’ve simmered down. This has helped us respect each others’ feelings and trust one another.
When it comes right down to brass tacks, at the end of the day, all we want is a happy child in a happy family.
Of course, we hug as often as we can and say “I love you” every day and we laugh together. A lot.
In my latest post over at Parentous, I chose to write about compassionate parenting because it is easy to preach what I practice.
In general, being compassionate helps us to be happier individuals. Parenting is no different. Showing compassion promotes better relationships with our children, as we enjoy them and steer them in the right direction and of course – learn from them! There are many specific benefits in the form of cultivating cooperative children, building their self-esteem and confidence, while lowering their tendency towards negative behavior.
Best of all, children with compassionate parents grow up to be emotionally strong and happy. Now if that is not a great outcome, I don’t know what is.
Please continue reading this post here: The Joy Of Being A Compassionate Parent
Please let me know what you think of the post.
Question for you: What is one special moment with your family that brings an instant smile?
Lovely posts I read this week:
8 Tips to Help You Get Through a Crisis of the Soul