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Anger Management Tips

by Vidya Sury October 15, 2014 25 comments
anger management vidya sury

Do you ever get angry?


I know – there are times when you feel that breaking something (or someone) is the only way you’ll feel better, right? Yep. Everyone gets angry. In moderation, all feelings are natural. But an excess can cause health issues and in this instance – anger – can cause mental health problems. It is the same with suppressed anger. Like bottled soda – waiting to explode. Except, not so pretty.

So what is the big deal with anger?

Anger is a powerful emotion and can cloud your vision, blinding you to what you should see. It usually stems from frustration over something, feeling hurt, being exasperated or unhappy. Being irritated is okay – but rage – hey, that’s not good.

Suppressed anger is even worse. It leads to anxiety and depression. It destroys relationships. It has a major impact on thought and behavior patterns resulting in health problems like high blood pressure, heart disease, skin disorders, stress, headaches and stomach upsets. You also end up saying things you regret later. Sometimes, anger also leads to crime, physical abuse, and violence.

Can you manage anger?

Yes. The first step towards anger management is making the decision to deal with it. Anger doesn’t solve anything. Since smashing that person’s face in is not an option, here are some tips to deal with anger and hopefully, stop feeling angry. And no, these have nothing to do with Charlie Sheen!

  1. The moment you feel that anger coming on, breathe deeply. Indulge in positive self-talk to calm yourself down. I have an Uncle who chants a mantra when he feels angry and this soothes him, even as the anger dissolves.
  2. Now some of us tend to suppress our anger. If you are one of those, rather than bottle it up, and have it eat at your insides like acid, express it. In an appropriate way. Don’t fly off the handle at the drop of a hat and mess up your relationships. This will not endear you to anyone and your body will also rebel. You’ll stress your nervous system and your cardiovascular system. Get into the habit of being assertive and express how you feel.
  3. Get support. Vent with someone you trust, someone who cares about you. Work on changing your behavior.
  4. Keep track of situations which trigger your anger so you can control it better and plan your response.
  5. A change in perspective might help. How about viewing the situation from the other side? Practice empathy.
  6. Learn to laugh at yourself. You will find that it is easy to find the humor in most situations.
  7. Cultivate the habit of being a good listener. This will not only improve the way you communicate but also help you build trust. Consequently, you will learn to deal with your negative emotions.
  8. Try not to get defensive or react emotionally. Work on expressing yourself calmly.
  9. Go out for a brisk walk or a jog – those endorphins can help you see the brighter side and kiss the anger goodbye.
  10. If you think you can’t handle it on your own, get professional help. Talk to a counselor or a qualified psychologist who can help you find ways to overcome your tendency towards anger.
  11. Since stress and anger are good buddies, you may find that eating healthy can help conquer stress and minimize anger.

Control anger before it controls you!

anger management vidya sury

When you feel that anger coming on, how do you deal with it? I’d love to hear it in the comments.

P.S.: May I invite you to please visit Corinne Rodrigues’ blog Everyday Gyaan where I’ve guest posted today? Here is the post: Tips on How To Breathe where I show you a technique that zaps your neck pain, shoulder aches and fatigue.

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Suzanne Furness October 15, 2014 at 11:59 pm

Happy Blog Blitz Day! Nice to meet you through the hop 🙂

Sarah October 16, 2014 at 1:01 am

Great advice! Happy Blitz day!

RB Austin October 16, 2014 at 1:23 am

Great post! It comes in handy with the book I’m writing. 🙂

Happy Blitz Day!


Lillian Csernica October 16, 2014 at 1:56 am

A wonderful list of coping strategies. In my family anger was the go-to emotion whenever fear or frustration was too much to handle. I love that quote from the Buddha. Happy Blitz Day!

Susnne Drazic October 16, 2014 at 3:11 am

Hi, Vidya. Great tips for dealing with anger. HAPPY BLITZ DAY!!
Susnne Drazic recently posted…Video Trailer Reveal for Escape Through the Wilderness

Judy October 16, 2014 at 3:42 am

There’s some great tips in your post, thanks. My favourite is just walk away, preferably outside for 30 mins in the fresh air either listening to the birds and looking at nature or plugged into some high vibe music. Even better, do some gardening – weeding or being or digging or planting out. Contact with the earth really does earth you. I agree don’t suppress it and allow it to make you in.
Judy recently posted…Throw in the towel!

L. Moon October 16, 2014 at 6:45 am

hope you are feeling the blog blitz love. Good advice for all…

Sheena-kay Graham October 16, 2014 at 7:03 am

Buddha’s a smart guy. Anger can be destructive so we have to be careful with our tempers. Happy Blitz Day.
Sheena-kay Graham recently posted…Meet My Character Bloghop and Celebrate

Shilpa Garg October 16, 2014 at 7:09 am

Love the Buddha quote. A walk or sitting quietly in the balcony works for me and recently I tried ranting on a piece of paper and it helped me to clear a lot of things, changed my perspective and calmed me too.
Shilpa Garg recently posted…Block Annoying Posts on Facebook

Kim Van Sickler October 16, 2014 at 8:02 am

Hi Vidya!
I used to let some things get me unbelievably angry when I was younger. But life and some pretty horrible experiences mellowed me. They put things in perspective. Also, on a day-to-day basis, exercise helps immensely!
Kim Van Sickler recently posted…Come Visit Me at Literary Rambles!

Birgit October 16, 2014 at 9:17 am

Sound advice! I have to deal with severe PMS. I actually was told I have dismorphic PMS. It is horrible but B6 saved the day! A good diet also works. I never keep things in-hahahaaa. One knows when I am angry but I try to deal with it acknowledge it (poor hubby) and move on. If I know it was wrong I acknowledge that as well. For some people it is very difficult but recognising it and seeking help is the big thing. My hubby had a horrible abusive upbringing and he has severe ADHD. He sought counselling and even though he gets angry, he can see it and he will walk away and be active. He listens and sees it and that is so wonderful as many don’t
Birgit recently posted…One Lovely Blog Award

My Miracle Life October 16, 2014 at 10:56 am

Great advice on anger. You’ve got a new follower… Happy Blog Blitz Day to you! I hope you enjoy the Blog loving! Eva
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Judy - Pedagogical Artist October 16, 2014 at 2:15 pm

Good tips, Vidya, individually and combined. If you adopt even one, you are on your way! Anger is actually fear in disguise. Once I overcome my anger and am thinking and feeling more clearly, I try to dig a bit deeper and ask myself, what am I afraid of that has triggered my anger. By identifying the source – the fear – I am able to try to find a solution to the cause and more important I am able to be more compassionate towards myself. HUGS <3

Medeia sharif October 16, 2014 at 2:43 pm

Wonderful tips and Happy Blitz Day.

Ashley October 16, 2014 at 8:48 pm

I can completely relate to this. I suppressed my angry for almost a year and it didn’t do anything but hurt me. I was trying to avoid it or make it go away and it ultimately just became a big monster in my head. I have learned for future how to handle things better and this post was right on point 🙂

Gwen October 16, 2014 at 10:34 pm

Happy Blitz!

Yeah, I try to avoid anger from the get go. It’s hard, but I know what actions *I* take that just work me up more in a situations and so do my best not to take them. It’s made a difference to my emotions and people have called me more stable from it which is nice.

Rhonda Albom October 17, 2014 at 2:35 am

Great tips as always. I love that quote by Buddha, I only wish I could remember it when I am in the anger moment.

Happy Blitz day 🙂
Rhonda Albom recently posted…Photos: Daytime on the Ferry from Auckland to Gulf Harbour

Duncan October 17, 2014 at 12:09 pm

Nice Buddha quote at the end of it all, and happy blitz day!
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Ashwini CN October 17, 2014 at 8:27 pm

I have an imaginary conversation in my head where I lash the person who triggered the anger in the first place. Trust me, it works 🙂
Ashwini CN recently posted…My Experiments with Cakes!

Sebastian Aiden Daniels October 18, 2014 at 5:58 am

You are right that anger can destroy relationships. I’ve done damage to a relationship or two through things I’ve done while angry. I think the biggest thing that I do that helps me when I am angry is breathing deeply and reminding myself that I have felt anger before and that it will pass and that I need to revisit things when I am in a better mood.
Sebastian Aiden Daniels recently posted…10 Things You Can Do To Make Someone’s Day

Proactive Indian October 19, 2014 at 7:09 pm

Good tips! Buddha’s words put it in a nutshell.
Proactive Indian recently posted…Parenting by example

Deniz October 21, 2014 at 4:55 pm

Happy belated blog blitz day!

Vidya Sury October 21, 2014 at 5:01 pm

Thank you Deniz! 🙂 very much appreciated!
Vidya Sury recently posted…Writing, Being #WriteMyCommunity #MicroblogMondays

Meltblogs October 19, 2020 at 1:47 pm

I have huge anger issues. I had a teacher who used to chant some mantra when she used to get angry on us.
I just want to know. Does it really helps? I have tried it but does not work out for me.

Vidya Sury October 19, 2020 at 7:23 pm

Hi! Thanks for commenting. Mantras work only after we’ve dealt with the underlying issues that trigger the anger. One has to work through it and to ensure that the solution, use a mantra as a reminder 🙂


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