Home Mindful Living How do you treat a friend?

How do you treat a friend?

by Vidya Sury April 9, 2016 12 comments
How do you treat a friend Vidya Sury

How would you treat a friend?

This is a quick exercise for the letter H in my Mindful living series for the A to Z Challenge.

I think it is very appropriate at this point, when most of us are likely a wee bit stressed and gratefully looking forward to Sunday (I am – the next one!) So I’ll keep this very short.

To do this exercise, you need:

  • A sheet of paper (yeah, why not, instead of digital media?)
  • A pencil/pen. I prefer pencils
  • Intention (but, of course!)
  • Ten uninterrupted minutes (so turn off all distractions, please)

At the top of the sheet, write “How I would treat a friend” and get started with the answers. It is okay to think a little bit.

Situation 1: A close friend is feeling bad about herself (or “himself”) or is struggling over something.

Your questions: You are feeling your best self. How would you respond to your friend in this situation? Please write: what you would do, what you’d say? What tone would you use when you talk to the friend?

Situation 2: You are feeling bad about yourself or are struggling with something.

Your questions: How would you respond to yourself? Please write: what you would typically do, what you’d say. What tone would you use to talk to yourself?

Now think about this:

Was there a difference in your response between situation 1 and 2?

If yes, why?

What influenced the difference in your response?

What were your feelings in each situation?

How would it be if you responded to yourself the same way you responded to your friend when you are struggling?

How about treating yourself like a good friend?

Here are some tips:

How to be your own best friend:

  1. Treat yourself the way you would treat someone you love dearly and care about
  2. Make sure you always love yourself, no matter what happens
  3. Use kind words when you speak to yourself
  4. Be compassionate and understanding
  5. Say positive things to yourself
  6. Recognize your own goodness
  7. Hold your hand when you are stressed
  8. Don’t let yourself down
  9. Show yourself respect
  10. Acknowledge your effort to change and grow
  11. Be patient with your shortcomings
  12. Allow yourself time
  13. Be non-judgemental toward yourself

What do you think of this?

Will you practice being a good friend to yourself?

H is also for happiness and life is happier when you’re good to yourself!

How do you treat a friend Vidya Sury

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Vasantha Vivek April 11, 2016 at 2:07 pm

Wonderful tips to be our own friend. The quote at the end was amazing.
Vasantha Vivek recently posted…To Give Myself Strength – #MondayMusings

Dahlia April 11, 2016 at 3:10 pm

Oh dear! I think I am over kind and generous to myself! I find the flimsiest of reasons not to exercise! I was hoping you would tell me to take a hike or something – I sorely need to shed some flab err self love 😛 But I guess there are exceptions to every rule and people do need to ease up on themselves. As usual enjoyed your post 🙂
Dahlia recently posted…I = Invitation Cards

Nibha April 11, 2016 at 3:55 pm

This really did set me thinking that why don’t we treat ourselves like we would treat our beloved ones during difficult times. I will surely be trying to be a good friend to myself from now on! Thanks for this insight! 🙂
Nibha recently posted…Invitation #AtoZChallenge

Joy April 11, 2016 at 8:02 pm

I love this, Vidya!! While I naturally have love, compassion and kindness for others, I didn’t have that for myself (due to pain and patterning from childhood abuse). One way I healed from that abuse was by being present to myself in the way I was present to others – by turning that love inward and being encouraging with my words to me (instead of judgmental or critical). It’s life-changing stuff and has greatly increased my daily peace, comfort and joy in my body and in my life.

C. Lee McKenzie April 11, 2016 at 8:21 pm

A good exercise to make you pay attention and take care of yourself. You must love yourself first if you ever hope to love others. Off to do my exercise now!

Darla M Sands April 11, 2016 at 11:14 pm

This is fabulous advice! I’m trying to follow it, feeling stressed over family drama. I hope you are well!
Darla M Sands recently posted…I is for Incubus

Manisha Awasthi April 12, 2016 at 4:26 am

I love being my own friend. Very positive post!

kalpanaa April 12, 2016 at 11:13 am

That exercise was quite an eye opener. As an Aquarian, friendship means a lot to me and I always make time and space for my friends. Sometimes they don’t reciprocate, and I don’t hold it against them, because that’s just who they are, and that’s ok. I wasn’t surprised when I realised I’m not such a good friend to myself. We’re often much harder on ourselves than we would ever be to anyone else. Thanks for the reminder Vidya.

Kala Ravi April 12, 2016 at 7:25 pm

So true, we need to keep affirming this to ourselves. To Thine own self be true! We are our own best friends and also the worst critics. Being good to ourselves can only make us more confident! Thanks for sharing this….and Sunday where art thou?
Kala Ravi recently posted…Hang your Art Right

Yolanda Renee April 17, 2016 at 10:59 pm

It’s so much easier to help a friend than to help yourself. But by helping that friend you have helped yourself. Great post!
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Birgit April 18, 2016 at 7:23 am

Oh this is a twist because we do treat ourselves differently and always more harshly. I can always give great advice or a listening ear to my friends but rarely to myself. I will have to do this exercise after the A to Z and will do it to see how I mark things down but I know I am harsher with myself and less patient.
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Richa April 19, 2016 at 3:22 pm

Once in a while, we need to pay attention to ourselves, a lesson most of us learn way too late in life. Thanks for reminding so beautifully 🙂
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