Home Mindful Living What If You Don’t Get What You Want?

What If You Don’t Get What You Want?

by Vidya Sury January 30, 2019 8 comments
Sometimes not getting what you want can be a blessing #inspiringquotes #mindfulness

Can you imagine not getting what you want? Feels uncomfortable, right? I mean, why should we not get what we want?

I can certainly think of an endless list of things I want. I used to make regular wish lists, allocating time frames to each item. That is, by when I’d like to acquire/achieve it. And I’d feel really happy when I accomplished this goal and got that item.

But over the years (I am saying that a lot these days and with good reason!), I’ve come to realize that there’s a huge difference between wants and needs. Sure, the wants make me really happy. (I am thinking of those owl earrings I felt I simply had to have). But do I really need those things? The momentary happiness is wonderful, but more often than not, most of these impulsive spur-of-the-moment acquisitions are forgotten quickly enough. Like that McDonald Happy Meal my son absolutely had to have—and acted like it was a life and death matter—and forgot it promptly the moment he crossed the threshold. And a lot of other things!

So anyway, back to the difference between want and need in relation to happiness. I now know that the anticipation is the best part—something to look forward to, something to make an effort for. Have you realized that too? That the process of acquiring something is way more exciting than actually getting them? That it is enough?

There was a time I would be over-excited about getting a particular thing and even lose patience as I waited; yet, when I got it, it would hold my attention for only a few days and then I’d put it away and forget about it. Yes, as I work on clearing out my physical clutter at a snail’s pace, I am feeling a little guilty. I wish I could say I don’t do it now, but I do. (Owl earrings, owl bag and a bunch of other things… sigh!)

Collect moments, not things

Collect moments not things #inspiringquotes #mindfulness #wordsofwisdom

At least, these days, I have schooled myself to pause every time I think I want something. I have learned to focus on experiences, not things. So yes, there are things I do work towards, but by the time I am on the verge of getting them, I find I’ve lost interest in them. Often, the journey turns into a wonderful learning experience.

Remember that sometimes not getting what you want 
is a wonderful stroke of luck.
Dalai Lama.

Sometimes we crave for things that we don’t need, things that may actually do more harm than good. Isn’t it a good thing when we don’t get them? And of course, life has the last laugh when we relentlessly pursue these things, get them and then realization strikes. Hindsight is always 20/20!

There’s truth in the age-old wisdom about happiness isn’t about things. Happiness is more about what we think, how we see our lives and our experiences. When we let go of wanting certain things, it is easier to appreciate what we do have. When we’re mindful about this, it allows us to make those changes in our lives that make us happier.

May we never let the things we can’t have, or don’t have,
or shouldn’t have, spoil our enjoyment of the things we do have
and can have.  As we value our happiness, let us not forget it,
for one of the greatest lessons in life is learning to be happy
without the things we cannot or should not have.
Richard L. Evans

Think about this.

Can you imagine a situation when you instantly get whatever you want? Would that make you happy?

Is there something you can think of that you did not get, yet it made you happier?

Are there things you want but don’t have? Do you think you can be happy without those things?

To be without some of the things you want is an indispensable part of happiness. #inspiringquotes #mindfulness #happiness

To be without some of the things you want is an indispensable part of happiness.
Bertrand Russell

Wednesday Wisdom is a series with short bursts of easy-to-consume wisdom in the form of stories, quotes, anecdotes, and humor.

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ajay k January 31, 2019 at 6:33 am

missing what we want shall be frustrating until or unless it is revealed as blessing.

Shilpa Gupte January 31, 2019 at 2:11 pm

That’s just what I realised in the last year, after losing quite a lot. Today, I, too, pause to think if I need a particular thing–big or small, significant or insignificant–and then I just divert my mind, coz I know that getting that thing will give me only momentary happiness. WHat’s the use of that, right?
Today, I seek peace of mind and a calm space for myself. Rest all is really not needed. And, the things I do need, Life will get those for me!

The topic of your post reminds me of a famous saying by poet Harivansh Rai Bachchan:

“Agar mann ka ho, toh achha, aur agar na ho, toh aur bhi achha!”
Shilpa Gupte recently posted…Happily Puzzled!

Vidya Sury January 31, 2019 at 3:01 pm

I remember hearing that quote, Shilpa! It’s wonderful!
It’s a little sad that most of us get this realization only over the years. But I guess experience is necessary to truly appreciate the joy of not getting what we want.
Thank you for coming by!

G Angela January 31, 2019 at 4:04 pm

Loved the captions collect moments and not things; I used to be so crazy about having a gold jhumka, which the tamilians wear and designer gold bangles… many times thought about it, saved money but somehow could not get to buy… over a period of time .. and even now still i think whether its a need and what i want, moments or things, better to travel and create some lovely moments than to buy something and wear once in a blue moon and some times may not wear too… so addicted to the junk that i have collected… agree sometimes not getting what one wants could be a blessing… I think of al closed doors of my life that has led me to right relationships and right place to work:)l
G Angela recently posted…#WATWB – App to feed the hungry

Vidya Sury February 1, 2019 at 10:15 pm

I fully understand what you are saying, Janet! Sometimes I am still like that… but far less these days. The thought of not accumulating makes me pause. Some days I get scared thinking about what we’ll do with all that we’ve collected! Hugs!

Galen Pearl February 1, 2019 at 8:53 am

This reminds me of one of my favorite lines from the Tao Te Ching. “He who knows enough is enough will always have enough.”

Vidya Sury February 1, 2019 at 10:13 pm

Beautifully said, Galen! Such a pleasure to see you! Hugs!

Vinay Kumar Satyanarayan February 4, 2019 at 10:04 pm

Want should be eclpsed by need… Want is nothing but greed!


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