A good friend is someone we all want–someone who’ll have our back always. We’re often told to keep away from those who drag us down. But that isn’t always easy, especially when we share so much with them. Is that enough, though? Just like thieves who steal from us, there are people who steal our self-esteem and confidence—qualities we need to grow and move ahead in our lives.
I am sure each one of us has those frenemies who bring us down more often than we care to admit. It isn’t like they’re bad people; it’s just that they don’t make us feel good. And it is hard to cut them out of our lives. But when we do get around to letting them go, it is amazing how life changes—how relieved we feel—how light we feel. It is as if life suddenly got better.
This is mainly because we each have our own paths, our own focus. And the people we let go of—they focused on different things and often brought in a big dose of negativity that was destructive. Maybe they belittled us—probably because they were insecure and low on self-esteem. When someone feels that way about themselves, they are usually corrosive towards others. They make fun of them and treat them badly just so they can feel better about themselves. Truth is, they don’t succeed in feeling better!
What to do?
Stay away from these people. Seek out the company of those who appreciate, encourage and compliment us because they care and make us feel good about themselves.
Life is too short to invest time on people who drag us down. So why not take the time to find people who make you feel good? Spend time with them. And make them feel good, too. Build on those relationships.
Are you a good friend?
Closeness comes from prioritizing friendship—by being sincere, transparent and sharing our feelings. By communicating warmth, by being affectionate, by giving each other space, by being loyal, by welcoming change, by limiting expectations, listening and offering trust.
By not trying to control or being manipulative; by not criticizing or being clingy.
Oh, it takes practice and of course, we will make mistakes. After all, friendship is like love—it is something we do, something we give that comes back to us.
Think about it.
Why do we hang around people who make us feel lousy?
How can we be the kind of people who rise by lifting others?
How can we be a good friend?
♥
Wednesday Wisdom is a series with short bursts of easy-to-consume wisdom in the form of stories, quotes, anecdotes, reflections, easy meditation and humor.
4 comments
Very well said – I totally agree – as I have got older I no longer tolerate low quality ‘friendships’ – I have some wonderful friends but they have to be very special to be in my inner circle. Everyone else who has the negative traits that you talk about is kept at arm’s length where they belong! A very good post – thank you.
Gilly recently posted…7 Rules For a Happy Life
Thank you for coming by and your lovely comment, Gilly! Some of us realize this later than sooner!
Vidya Sury recently posted…Have You Earned Your Tomorrow?
I think we can get caught up in negative relationships due to jobs we have to keep. I had to do that and they seem to drag you down to the point where you wonder if you have any capabilities to work elsewhere. Once I was laid off I realized that the problem was with them, not me. Years have passed and now I will no longer put up with such abuse. Learning from the negative people in my life made me stronger. We can’t always stay away from negative people but we sure can respond to them differently and not let them walk all over top of us. Too many great people in this world, we just have to expose ourselves less to the ones that don’t empower us. Great article.
Mary Stephenson recently posted…Benefits of Introverts and Extroverts in the Workplace
Thank you Mary–how nice to see you! You are right–it needn’t always be about us. Sadly it sometimes takes a while to realize that. And how we respond is within our control
How have you been? Sending you love.