I read this beautiful book titled “The 100/0 Principle” by Al Ritter whose premise is this: Would you rather be right or would you rather be happy?
Relationships are an integral part of our lives—at home, at work and just about everywhere. Each time we meet someone, we start a relationship where we can present our best selves…or not. We have to admit that good relationships make life happier and more enjoyable.
When we think about how we interact with others and the way we approach our relationships, our expectations, our assumptions, we have to also wonder whether we sometimes sabotage ourselves without knowing it? Are we holding ourselves back from succeeding?
Are our relationships with others based on our judgment of them? Honestly, yes because we tend to treat others based on how we perceive them or whether we agree or disagree with them.
This is justified sometimes, depending on the situation. But there are other times when we are not always right in the way we judge others.
If we think back on our lives, what really matters is the quality of our relationships. And if we really care about our relationships, what are we doing about it?
The 100/0 Principle by Al Ritter is an inspirational book that aims to make every relationship great. It reveals the secrets of great relationships with inspirational quotes and stories to illustrate these ideas. It also focuses on taking full responsibility for any relationship and becoming aware of your reactions so they are not automatic or judgmental.
What is the 100/0 Principle?
It is based on the premise that the most effective way to create and sustain great relationships with others is to take full responsibility (the 100) for the relationship, expecting nothing (the 0) in return.
Of course, that’s not easy. It takes pure commitment to the relationship with a big dose of self-discipline to think, act and give 100 percent.
Where can we apply The 100/0 Principle?
To those relationships that are too important to react automatically or judgmentally. We must first take stock of decide which relationships these are.
Then, implement the following 4 steps:
- Determine what you can do to make the relationship work. Then do it. Show kindness and respect to the other person, regardless of whether they deserve it.
- Expect nothing in return.
- Do not allow anything the other person says or does to affect you – no matter how annoying it is. Basically, do not take the bait.
- Be persistent with your kindness. Don’t give up, even if they don’t respond. Remember, expect nothing in return.
Often, some relationships will continue to be challenging and even toxic, in spite of the 100% commitment and self-discipline. When this happens:
- Avoid being the “Knower” and switch to being the “Learner”. Don’t use “knower” statements or thoughts such as “that wont work” or “I am right, you are wrong” or “I’ll teach you” etc.
- Instead, use Learner statements such as “let me find out what is going on to understand the situation” or “I could be wrong” or “I wonder if…” – show curiosity.
It’s funny, but when you take authentic responsibility for a relationship, often the other person also chooses to take responsibility. And the 100/0 relationship transforms into a 100/100. And when that happens, it’s a win-win for everyone in the relationship.
What do you think of The 100/0 Principle?
Would you rather be right or would you rather be happy?
Buy The 100/0 principle on Amazon.com
or get it on Amazon.in
Wednesday Wisdom is a series with short bursts of easy-to-consume wisdom in the form of inspiring stories, verse, quotes, anecdotes, reflections, easy meditation, thought-provoking questions and humor.
The 100/0 principle is simply great but am sure is very challenging to practice and adopt in real life. But if we do make it a way of our life, all our relationships and life in general will be so happy and positive. Thanks for this food for thought.
It is easy to get inspired by inspirational quotes or books and show gratitude towards others. Being kind is not for just a few occasions, we need to stay consistent with the 100/0 approach to make every relationship great. Great post as always Vidya.
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I have always been doubtful about relationships which are unconditional but now that I am a Mum I do understand what it’s like to give hundred percent without expecting anything. Those who give 100 percent with 0 percent expectation must be really at peace with life. And also the happiest. Love the post Vidya. Great food for thought.
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