Ever noticed how you talk to yourself sometimes? Is it positive self-talk or negative pull-me-downs?
Isn’t it strange how we think twice before saying something to a stranger or family or friend, and yet, when it comes to ourselves, we ignore the filter and let ourselves have it – raw, mean, and quite often unkind?
We seem to enjoy beating ourselves up for the most minor things. Sometimes it is a quest for perfectionism and at others, we just won’t let ourselves catch a break.
This negative self-talk from our glorified inner critic impacts our lives in more ways than you can ever imagine. Without realizing it, we become our own worst enemies, stripping ourselves of self-confidence and peace of mind.
Left unchecked, this lack of positivity in our lives can start affecting our health, leaving us worried and stressed, and unable to relax.
Be honest. Tell me you do this to yourself too!
Can we actually fix this?
Oh yes! This is actually easier than you think. It all starts with positive self-talk. And I can even offer you six practical steps in two parts to fix this. The first part is where you consciously watch out for negative self-talk; in the second part, you put the positive self-talk part in action.
Easy enough, right?
Part 1: You start by catching yourself in the act.
With these three steps, put the brakes on negative self-talk before it can gain a foothold:
Write it Down
Keeping a journal is a great way to get a handle on what you’re thinking. Try writing down your impressions of the day before bed. This allows you to let go of feelings that might fester if allowed to run unrestrained when you’re trying to sleep. When you re-read those entries later, you will get a picture of just where you are. It might be you’ve been more negative lately than you thought.
Just Say “No”
Probably the most difficult step! When you catch the negative statements in your head, your job is to stop them before they form. The moment you recognize your self-talk shifting to something less than uplifting, you need to say ‘no’ to it immediately. Say the word “Stop” out loud if you need to.
Snap Back
Psychologists have advised this therapy for years to stop negative thoughts.
Here is what you do: Simply place a rubber band around your wrist (one that doesn’t fit too snug). Just snap the rubber band whenever you have a negative thought. Eventually, you’ll find yourself stopping those thoughts automatically just to avoid the ‘punishment.’ Because, ouch, that rubber band hurts!
Part 2: Try following these three steps to put positive self-talk in action
Tone it Down
Think about what word you can change in the negative thought to take the sting out.
Instead of ‘stupid’ perhaps you were ‘mistaken.’
Instead of ‘slow’ maybe you’re ‘thoughtful.’
By paying attention to your words, you’ll automatically start shifting your self-talk to positive self-talk.
Switch Sides
Make a game of it. Whenever you hear yourself making a statement in your head, ask yourself if you can somehow reword things to make your words neutral or positive. See how many of these thoughts you can change. Write it down. It is fun.
Question Everything
Instead of listening to negative assumptions, turn them into questions.
For example, “That’s impossible” can become “How can I make that possible?” Questions look for solutions while statements are already decisive.
By tracking what you do and acting with the intention to change the situation, you’ll find that life looks very different. And that is such a welcome change! You feel more relaxed and can even embrace optimism. You start liking yourself a little more. It’s here where you start discovering the potential you’ve been holding all along.
Bloom and shine by doing away with negative thinking and switching to positive self-talk!
