Recently, I wrote a post about how building your emotional intelligence can make you happier and healthier. Today, I have a short and simple exercise to strengthen your emotional intelligence called the fogging technique. This will help you deal with criticism without letting it drag you down.
Practice it. Feel the difference.
How to practice the Fogging Technique
As the name aptly implies, this technique involves acting like a fog. Just imagine you are the fog. The moment someone throws a stone at you, simply absorb it without throwing it back.
This is an effective technique to use against the people who constantly keep criticizing you.
How to practice this?
Here are some examples.
Suppose someone says the following to you:
- You just don’t understand!
- You are so lazy!
- You are perpetually late!
- You are irresponsible!
What you should do is simply accept the criticism regardless of whether it is true or not—and then repeat it to the person who criticized you. Yes. Here’s how you do it:
- Yes, I just don’t understand!
- Yes, I am lazy sometimes.
- Yes, I was late.
- Yes, I am irresponsible sometimes.
Continue to respond in this manner—and the person who throws these “stones” at you will eventually run out of steam.
The Fogging Technique is a gentle and elegant way to put a stop to the back and forth argument that might usually result when someone criticizes you. Also, it makes the other person’s rage just flow out of him—like deflating a balloon.
To get into the habit of responding with the fogging technique, practice it with someone close to you. Ask them to criticize you and respond with the fogging technique—and see how you feel.
Of course, it goes without saying that you should use it wisely. Which basically means that you should use it in appropriate situations. So when your Mom says you never pick up after yourself, it is because she cares for you and it is not criticism. It’s character building. So, you simply go pick up after yourself!
Wednesday Wisdom is a series with short bursts of easy-to-consume wisdom in the form of stories, quotes, anecdotes, reflections, easy meditation, thought-provoking questions and humor.