Personal development Wednesday Wisdom

You and the 7 lies you tell yourself

You and the 7 lies you tell yourself_Fotor

Are you even aware of the lies you tell yourself?

I don’t know about you, but I have lied to myself. Often. And started believing that inner voice. That nasty inner critic that’s always ready to show me a million reasons why I should believe those lies. Fortunately, over the years, I’ve become a little wiser, thanks to great mentors, pushy friends and family that believed in me.

Yup, I am sure you lie to yourself on a daily basis. At least ONE of the following 7 lies I am about to list. These are excuses that hide our sense of inadequacy and hold us back from taking risks, reaching our potential. And as time passes, these lies stop us from living a full life.

Sure we feel better when we lie to ourselves but that’s short-lived. And soon, it becomes second nature—a habit—and we are not even conscious we’re lying to ourselves.

How to stop lying to yourself right now and start living?

You and the 7 lies you tell yourself

Let’s look at the lies you tell yourself

1. I don’t have a choice

Truth? We do have a choice. Thing is, we just don’t have the guts to consider our options. Now let’s suppose your friend was in a similar situation. What would you tell her? What advice would you give? What would your own BFF tell you to do? Well, do it already!

2. If I say this, or do this, people with think I am crazy.

Truth? Nobody cares. Everyone is too caught up with their own stuff or too busy to worry about what you do or say. Believe you are worthy! You are good enough to do what you want and say what you think!

3. I am too old to (fill in the blanks)

Here’s news for you! Age is nothing but a number. A measure of the time we spend on earth. I am sure you’ve heard of people graduating from college in their 70s? Whether it is going back to school or following a passion, it is never too late. It’s just that we assume things become inconvenient as we grow older and find it more challenging, especially if you’re already handling a full-time job and family. But there’s a difference between “challenging” and “impossible”. Take inspiration from all those who believed in themselves and did things in spite of the so-called obstacles. Live a fulfilling life without regrets! Stop the lies you tell yourself!

4. I have to be perfect. Otherwise I am a failure

“Don’t worry about failures, worry about the chances you miss when you don’t even try.” Jack Canfield

So true! If you have to be perfect at something before you even try, you’ll never get started. It is fine not to have the potential to be the best but almost every one of us can be quite good at just about anything—if only we try!

Also, there’s really no need to be the best. Why think less of yourself because you are not? It is not necessary to be competitive with everything you attempt. Why not enjoy yourself without worrying about how you are doing?

5. I’d be happy if I had more money.

Truth: Happiness is not tied to money. Millionaires are no happier than those that make an average income. So long as you pay your bills every month, money is not a factor that controls your happiness. Sure it is great to have the money to buy all the things you want. But happiness? Does not depend on it.

6. If I could change him/her…life would be better  

No. Just no. Ever wondered how tough it is to change yourself even when you want to change? Also, why change someone? Isn’t the way they are why you liked them in the first place? So, not going to happen. Learn to accept people as they are. If you don’t like something about them, move away.

7. I am not good enough

One of the most common lies you tell yourself. Did you know that learning to walk and talk are far more challenging than anything else anyone has ever accomplished? You’re probably thinking, “Oh, everyone can walk and talk.” Exactly. You’re infinitely more capable than you need to be. Maybe you have some issues to resolve, but your inherent capability isn’t one of them. You are enough.

We are just amazing at fooling ourselves. We are quite comfortable about lying to the person in the mirror, thinking we are protecting ourselves and even feel better when we do so. Do not sacrifice your future just so you can feel better for a little while.

The whole goal of self-help is to avoid the lies you tell yourself. Stop it. Right now. And start living!

You know you are amazing.

How to stop lying to yourself

Now, which of these lies do you tell yourself?

Will you work on stopping it?

Wednesday Wisdom is a series with short bursts of easy-to-consume wisdom in the form of inspiring stories, verse, quotes, anecdotes, reflections, easy meditation, thought-provoking questions and humor.

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11 Comments

  • Reply
    G Angela
    May 2, 2020 at 12:20 pm

    Thank you Vidya for this post. I have told all of these lies to my self many a times, thanks be to God over a period of time I have learnt to deal with some of them. I am still in process and moving towards a day when I will not have any lie to tell myself. Have a great weekend:)

  • Reply
    chatty wren
    May 2, 2020 at 12:51 pm

    Lovely, just what I needed to read today!!

  • Reply
    Lynne Huysamen
    May 2, 2020 at 1:01 pm

    This is a fantastic list of lies we tell ourselves and I would love to elaborate on the one where you said I will be happy when I have more money. I think for me that it is not just money. I have often in the past found myself thinking “I will be happy when (fill in anything)” … so I have often made my happiness dependent on some achievement, which yes is very often related to money but not always.

    The thing is that when I achieve a goal I am automatically adding a new goal (or 10) and then I will base my happiness on those new goals.

    I have made it a big mission in my life to count my blessings every day and that makes me happy!

  • Reply
    sandy n vyjay
    May 2, 2020 at 4:52 pm

    Our mind plays tricks with us. The mind is indeed our best friend and can be our worst enemy too. It is the mind that makes us self-obsessed resulting in these lies which we tell ourselves. We need to take control of our minds and lead it rather than be lead by it.

  • Reply
    Birgit
    May 2, 2020 at 5:35 pm

    These make a great list and are so true. I don’t ever want my hubby to change even though I wish some things could alter a bit. I love him, warts and all. 🙂. Now the big one is how to say to oneself, “you are beautiful” when you are in constant pain, you don’t eat the wrong foods but can’t walk much or do what you you used to do and are too overweight. You feel fat and lumpy and are. Ok so there how to feel beautiful with those hidden feelings

  • Reply
    Richa MIna
    May 2, 2020 at 5:48 pm

    Guilty!!! I’ve used these lies myself as an excuse for not doing many things or even avoiding many things. Thinking about what people would think if started ***** at this age???
    you’re right I should not bother about small things and focus on a lot of things I have to achieve and move forward.
    Richa MIna recently posted…Do I Have Phobia??? #CauseAChatter

  • Reply
    Shilpa Garg
    May 3, 2020 at 10:57 pm

    Guilty of quite a few things from this list!
    I really need to remove ‘I dont have a choice’ from my head. I do have options and choices, it’s just that I am euther scared or too comfortable in my comfort zone to consider them. must change that for a few things. Thanks for the nudge, Vidya!

  • Reply
    Debbie Hampton
    May 5, 2020 at 6:31 am

    I used to be guilty of all of these and they are lies. They are so limiting. When I realized that my fears and negative beliefs like this were not the truth, it was so freeing and empowering. We cannot control the random thoughts that pop into our heads. However, we can completely control which ones we choose to believe.

  • Reply
    Paige Oldham
    May 5, 2020 at 8:49 pm

    “I’m not good enough” plagued me for decades. I always tried to be the best, but whatever I achieved was never enough for me. Then I started an internal dialogue where I asked myself what “enough” was and who had the power to dictate what that meant for me. The more I asked those questions, the more I realized that only I could say what “enough” meant for me. And I learned to practice some compassion for myself by knowing that I was always doing my best which changes day to day. It took time and has allowed me to find an inner peace.

  • Reply
    Elle Sommer
    May 6, 2020 at 10:35 pm

    This article probably reflects a lot of truth about us all Vidya. As a recovering perfectionist I can totally relate to the “I have to be perfect” – though it was never articulated or thought about like that. Some subconscious belief I’d picked up no doubt. Today, I’m quick to recognize and replace patterns that don’t lead me to places I want to go, thank goodness for that!

  • Reply
    Sandra Pawula
    May 25, 2020 at 3:02 am

    Great list, Vidya. “I’m not good enough” has always been a big one for me. It can be very subtle. But I try to catch it and not go there. “I’m too old to…” comes up sometimes. There is some wisdom in that. I feel my older years are for turning inward, preparing for my transition. So I don’t want to get caught up in too many worldly things. But also, I don’t want to limit myself with this thought when I do have the impulse to do something new or different.
    Sandra Pawula recently posted…On the Challenge of Solitude (During the Pandemic)

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